I Need a Woman's Perspective

 So, I haven't posted here in a long time, but I really need some advice from you wives out there

 First of all, I want to explain that my wife is one of the most understanding, supportive and caring woman I have ever met.  She does not get in "moods" for no reason and is very understanding.  We have a realtionship based on trust and communication, I usually need to initiate the conversation but she warms up and participates easily.  Now for the "but" LOL........

She is now 7 months pregnant and seems very emotionless.  I am a bit worried because she is like a diferent person.  When I talk, even about the weather or how my day was, she doesn't even respond and just walks away or continues reading/watching TV.  I have tried to talk to her about it nicely, but then she responds with, "What do you want me to say?"  I don't want her to say anything, just acknowledge the fact that I'm in the room.  I am trying to be very supportive and understanding because I know she is going through a lot with the pregnancy and it's not fair for me to blame her at all, which I'm not. But, last week I tried to ask her what was wrong and she gave me a silent treatment for 3 straight days.  This is not like here at all, and this is why I am worried.  I'm afraid she's becoming depressed but won't talk to me about it.  I just need some advice.  Should I just weather the storm and let it pass?  Should I keep trying to communicate, knowing that eventually she will talk to me?  What should I do?

This behaviour is completely out of character for my wife, so any advice would be greatly appreciated........ Thanks!

This must be your first child coming?  At 7 months pg a lot of women feel huge and unattractive.  We worry that we won't lose the weight and look as good as we did before.  Also...in 2 months, her whole world is going to change.  She will have someone who relies on her completely (to LIVE!!!) and that can feel like a huge burden.  A blessing for sure, but also a lot of responsibility and it can be so very overwhelming.  I imagine she is scared about a lot of things...am I going to be a good mother?  How do I divide my attention between this new baby, and also give my husband the time and attention he needs and expects as well?  Will I still "be" the person I was before?...because I kind of liked her and I don't want that to change either. And it is so hard as a woman to admit to her husband sometimes that all of these fears are present.  And men always want to "fix" things, but these things can't be fixed....they must be lived and let confidence grow and learn that having a child is SCARY! but it is unimaginable joy until it is experienced.  I imagine her lack of emotional expression is a way of coping; either to not acknowledge it or not have to admit what feelings she's having to you. 

When my dh and I are having trouble getting along/communicating, he usually ends up writing me a letter to explain his side of the story.  I like this approach because I can read it, take it in, and not feel like I have to defend myself which sometimes happens during arguments.  I guess that is an approach I would suggest for you??  I'd include any fears you may have about parenthood so she sees that she's not alone in this and lots of affirmation that she is (as you said) understanding, supportive and caring and your child is beyond blessed to be getting her as his/her mother.  When it is time to talk, just listen.  All women want is someone to understand and validate their feelings (which is why girlfriends are awesome because they "get that")!!!

GL...I'm sure others will have some good perspective and suggestions, too!

 This is amazing advice, I love the letter idea and thanks for the "woman's" perspective.  To be honest, I knew, to a point, what was going on with her but just needed some advice on how to deal with it, so thanks again.  It's really funny because, in our relationship, my wife calls me the wife and her the husband.  I'm always wanting to discuss emotions and feelings and wanting to communicate, LOL. Strange I know, but this writing a letter idea is exactly what I should do.  I really like the idea because, like you said, she can read it on her own and process it on her own terms.  I especially like the idea of writing all the positives, because sometimes I don't think she hears everything I say and only remembers bits and bobs of what I have said......... Oh, and yes, this is our first baby and it's a girl:).

 Thanks again for your wonderful insight and advice!

Mt girl pretty much summed it up. Of course my husband at the time wasn't nearly as sweet and caring as you but I felt big, unattractive, worried and alone. Even when I had family support. My husband now is unbelieveably perfect, my soul mate and even when pregnant with my second daughte I went through those times of feeling unattractive and alone. your wife sounds a lot like my own personality and I prefer not to discuss feelings etc and instead I process things on my own. What helps me is space and support (from a distance). Leave her little notes on the bathroom mirrow, you're so beautiful, or just hug her and say Thank you. Thank you for doing a great job being pregnant with our baby. Becuae it;s a LOT of work, eventhough it appears as our belly magically grows, it's exhausting, emotional and worrisome. She is probably not even thinking of you (and dont take that the wrong way) but instead processing her own worries like, am I going to be a good mom etc... hang in there it'll get better!