EGD: PLEASE STOP HERE IF YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT IS EXTREME

Hi JoannaK, Thank you do much for the kind thoughts and words, they are greatly appreciated. I requested access to the EGD board and figured it would be something approved within a day (given the serious nature of the symptoms associated with EGD) so I was a little disheartened when I read the posts of other mommies who have not been granted access after long periods of waiting. Since this is a public forum and decorum needs to be maintained I feel as though I am writing with a filter on...something one shouldn't have to do when faced with this issue. So I took the example led by other ladies and posted my request here. But THANK YOU for taking the time to write and send love my way, it's felt I promise!

ciaobellanh:

Hi JoannaK, Thank you do much for the kind thoughts and words, they are greatly appreciated. I requested access to the EGD board and figured it would be something approved within a day (given the serious nature of the symptoms associated with EGD) so I was a little disheartened when I read the posts of other mommies who have not been granted access after long periods of waiting. Since this is a public forum and decorum needs to be maintained I feel as though I am writing with a filter on...something one shouldn't have to do when faced with this issue. So I took the example led by other ladies and posted my request here. But THANK YOU for taking the time to write and send love my way, it's felt I promise!

I'm so glad, please please take care of yourself- YOU come first. Once you focus on you, everything else will fall into place. I know it is so much more complicated than that, but try to simplify everything you feel as much as you can, as soon as you add a "story" to it, you'll be putting so much more stress and pain on yourself, and I hate to see people in pain, it breaks my heart :( Take care, please, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts :) xxo

Hi there,

I'm new to this site but have been reading this thread with great interest. My story is similar to many women's - JoannaK - my heart goes out to you - the way you are feeling strikes so many chords with me. So here goes...We've always known that we will only have 2 children for a number of reasons and I've always felt, through some kind of strange inuition I guess, that I would have one of a certain gender (I'm keeping my preference to my self right now as I want to put my scan images up here and don't want to do anything to influence the guesses that people might make). Baby no. 1 was not the gender that I was hoping for and I was quite depressed about that so afterwards I made it my mission to research how to sway. After undertaking some hardcore academic research and taking advice from some real experts in the field, I put myself through a hellish 6 month diet + regular hormone testing which was unbelieveably tough (and I mean tough, every single thing I ate was monitored and I couldn't eat out or have the things that I really wanted - I was so desperate to sway I would have done anything!). Sadly, I then miscarried. I didn't cope well with it and forced myself to get back on the diet, putting myself through hell again. I got pregnant 4 months later and after everything I'd been through, I was convinced that I'd get the gender I want so, so badly. However, I am pretty sure that it's bad news for me based on what I saw on my 20 week scan (we asked not to know as I thought it would be easier to deal with disappointment at birth than mid pregnancy) and my scrutiny of my scan images. I desperately want to put them up on this site but every time I try to upload them it won't work. Can anyone give me any advice on how to do this? I've saved them as JPEG and GIFF but had no success. Like others, I feel badly depressed and am not enjoying my pregnancy. My sister is also pregnant (5 weeks behind me) and today I found out that she is having the gender that I so desperately want. I should be happy for her but in all honesty I just feel that it's not fair. I have tried to talk to my midwife abut the way that I am feeling but I felt that she was judging me and the last time I saw her I left feeling an enormous sense of guilt about my dissapointment (I should be happy that the baby looks healthy etc.). I am now 28 weeks pregnant and can't bear to go for a gender scan as I am so sure it'll not be the news I want and I couldn't put myself through that right now. It would be so much easier to hear it here in what seems to be a supportive environment. If anyone could give me advice on how to upload my images or anything else relating to this topic, I'd so appreciate it.

Thanks so much.

My story is very similar to yours... I have had a dream always. I am the oldest of two sisters and I have always wished I had an older brother. Which is why I wanted a boy first and then a girl...With my first pregnancy, we thought it was going to be a boy, but turned out to be a girl. Disappointed, but it was still okay since I was flexible enough to change my preference to one of each (we are only going to have two no matter what). Next, we tried swaying a couple of times and I did not conceive on both of those occasions. We then decided to wait for a while before trying again and everything was going smoothly... Until we found out that i'm pregnant a few weeks ago. It was a shock because we werent trying and i know we hadnt had ic anywhere close to ovulation. I was really scared because i am unprepared and because I know its going to be a girl again. I was secretly hoping im wrong. Today i took one of those gender tests available online. It has very good reviews and most ppl swear that it wored for them . I took the test and my worst fears are confirmed. I have dealt with the fear that i will never have a boy ever since my gender scan in my first pregnancy and its true! Im really shattered.... Whats wrse is, almost all my friends and relatives who are having kids or have recently had kids have had boys. But not me... I feel like i hate this baby! Although i want to love itad feel blessed.... Why did my plan not work out? What did u guys do to combat ur disappointment? Sorry abt the typos... Please help!! Im losing my sanity...

Sorry to hear that you are going through this too. I am no further forward so cannot offer you any advice. I had come to this site in an attempt to seek some suppport but sadly you are the only person who has responded. All I can say is that I know how you feel and it's hell. I can't think about anything else and feel quite depressed. What I would say though is that I'm not convinced that the gender tests are accurate. They may well have good reviews but they cannot tell you for sure. The only way to be sure is with a scan. Since my last post I have met a sonographer who I shared my story with. She was really understanding and reassured me that my feelings were surprisingly common. She sympathised with me and actually offered to scan me to tell me for sure but I declined as I'm already 99% sure and just couldn't put myself through it. It is so, so hard. Everyone says it won't make any difference once the baby is in your arms and I am praying that's the case! I'm sure we'll adjust to it in good time and I'm telling myself that the hormones are making this worse just now. Can anyone else help?!

yup, in the same boat, due with No.4 in Nov 2012!

3 boys, and because this one was unplanned, I did want 4 but we agreed to stop at 3 or I would have done everything according to the Hazel Chesterman-Phillips book that I read a long time ago - for a girl.

I'm thinking I don't want to know at the next ultrasound - and just get ready for a boy, All the wives tales point to it being a boy, including me having testosterone fuelled rage - rather than crying lots...

Kind of feel cheated that while I am getting no.4 and I did freak out at merely having another one, that we can't afford. Still in denial at almost 16 weeks, and love the boys I have. I know I will be glad at the teen stage if it's another boy, but would love a girl baby. If we'd got ourselves straight financially over the next five years, with just the 3, I would have probably asked DH if we could look at adopting a girl.

Not going to start hoping, and while I am stressed at No4, and a fully 'blue' household, I also worry that with all my boys, I will eventually lose them to other women as they grow up and move away. Just a big ole worry wort!!! On the other hand, maybe 'God' or a higher power is telling me that my own failed relationship with my mother will just be repeated with a girl, so I am being protected (as is an unborn girl) from repeating this hurtful life-long non-relationship (not from lack of my trying to repeatedly please her...) Oh I haven't told her about it coz she'll just be negative and make me feel worse! ;-(

I do understand but I also don't like people reminding me that 'are you hoping for a girl', 'will you find out'... I probably won't so I don't get to show how I feel at this stage...

x

munchkins:

Sorry to hear that you are going through this too. I am no further forward so cannot offer you any advice. I had come to this site in an attempt to seek some suppport but sadly you are the only person who has responded. All I can say is that I know how you feel and it's hell. I can't think about anything else and feel quite depressed. What I would say though is that I'm not convinced that the gender tests are accurate. They may well have good reviews but they cannot tell you for sure. The only way to be sure is with a scan. Since my last post I have met a sonographer who I shared my story with. She was really understanding and reassured me that my feelings were surprisingly common. She sympathised with me and actually offered to scan me to tell me for sure but I declined as I'm already 99% sure and just couldn't put myself through it. It is so, so hard. Everyone says it won't make any difference once the baby is in your arms and I am praying that's the case! I'm sure we'll adjust to it in good time and I'm telling myself that the hormones are making this worse just now. Can anyone else help?!

I just wanted to tell you that you would get much more help and support if you started your own post in the gender disappointment forum. This is a special thread for people who have been on the site for awhile. You need a certain number of posts to gain access to this special thread for "protection" of the people in it. However, if you started your own post, you'd find very supportive women coming at you from all directions!

Ok, thank you; I didn't realise.

Thanks for the support, munchkins, despite facing the same issue yourself.... Here's a fresh take on ur situation. After giving birth to my daughter, i was struck by ppd which was pretty bad. And all the stress of being a new mom, little support from H and rest of the fmily etc made me lose interest in doing all i could for the baby. GD did not play a huge role the first time becaue as i told you, i was hoping to get it right the next time. But this time, i have decided to face it sooner than later just so I am prepared for sure. Because i dont want to have to deal with all of the above and severe GD (because no matter what, i am still hoping for a miracle). I am not saying our case is the same, but just another way of looking at it. I hope you are pleasantly surprised! Bizzibee, sorry you are in the same boat too :( just want to tell you that you are not right when u think your relationship with your daughter will be like your mom's relationship with you.. I cant speak for your mom because i dnt know what her situation was like when she had you, but you want a daughter wholeheartedly! It says something, i dont think your daughter will have to try hard to please you. Will keep you in my prayers. Good luck ladies Sorry for diverting the original purpose of the thread

 hi Sunnyhopes...plz don't believe these online gender tests ...they are crap...they told me I was having a boy the first time when  I was carrying DD .....timing is the least imp factor unless it was O+12 ....whats done is done .....   

 Is there still a forum for this? I requested access but I wasn't sure if it was even available anymore.

Hmmmm... I think i put it wrongly... I took one of those urine based tests that are available on amazon....but i read somewhere that there is nothing in your urine that can tell you the gender of your baby, so im hoping it was wrong for me... I hope you are talking about the same test! What you say is true, whats done is done...

 the urine based tests online are a total CRAP...my SIL was trying to TTC boy and took one of them and was told she is carrying a boy !

she was overjoyed only to find out later that it is a Girl..when she called them to ask abt the test result they said ' having male members in the house while testing can affect results ' ! can you believe that ? but she got her money back..

 FOUND OUT YESERDAY ABOUT BOY NO 3AND IF ONE MORE PESON TELLS ME TO BE HAPPY,BECAUSE "i'LL SAVE ON CLOTHES" OR at least I'll have 3 strong men to protect me (from what I wonder..myself???)..I'll SCREAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

 Was going to celebrate after scan,but ended up just sobbing to my poor DH.Of course I adore my two miracle IVF twin boys....was just really looking fwd to having a girl to bond with.This will be our last baby too.

 

Told DH yesterday that I didn't want it.Now he has pulled away from me too.

 

Got home last night and my two boys being wonderful and sweet to me...made me feel worse.

 

Can't even look at scan pic.

 

Gutted

I've used two different "gender test" plus the Drano test & all said girl. It's a boy