"done" and gender

I'm really happy with my family right now . . .(with the help of high tech) I got what I always wanted:  3 kids and at least one of each.  Seriously, I am quite content with the state of my family at the moment.  After seeing my boys together, however, I'd really like to give DD a sister.  I don't feel like I need another baby--I did for a while soon after having DD (spent quite a bit of timing thinking I definitely wanted #4).  There are some things I definitely would like about being done.  I think three is a good number, I could do without another pregnancy, maybe get the boobs I've been wanting  But if I knew in advance #4 would be a girl, I'd get pregnant tomorrow.  But on the other hand, if I knew in advance #4 would be a boy, I'd probably stop at 3  It's really not about GD, it's just that my desire for another is basically just for another girl.  I don't think I'm up for doing high tech again.  So what do you think?  Am I done? 

I kinda feel the same way you do.  on one hand, I want DD to be the baby, on the other, I would love to give her a little sister.  and if I knew I could conceive a DD again, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  I think it was a very happy accident that we got pg with DD and I have a feeling the chances of doing it again are very slim.  (I know 50/50, but not in my head). 

I don't know if you're done.  I guess if you wouldn't be totally ok with a boy, you're probably done.  not willing to go HT again, you're rolling the dice, you know? 

I really hate being not sure myself!  I tell myself all the time I'm sooo done (especially during the summer ), but God, I love being pg and having babies.  I think I will crack when DD is older and asks for a little sister (although my parents never cracked!).  maybe we'll have money to go HT then so I can give her what she wants!

Honestly I think if I were you I would stop on 3. It is based on that you want a girl not *just* another baby. So I would not mess with something that is good already. ETA: My situation is messed up, I would like another baby (doesn't matter boy or girl), and I might even be pregnant right now but I don't want to be pregnant right now !!!! :( I wanted another baby in 6 to 10 years or maybe never . As of a question if you are done only you know an answer.

My ?

Stop having babies, go have a great time on your FAB European Anniversary trip, get your new boobs and enjoy the awesome family that you have RIGHT NOW. 

 

BeebsNBubbs:

My ?

Stop having babies, go have a great time on your FAB European Anniversary trip, get your new boobs and enjoy the awesome family that you have RIGHT NOW

LOL.  Have you been talking to my husband??

Sedona~:

I guess if you wouldn't be totally ok with a boy, you're probably done.  not willing to go HT again, you're rolling the dice, you know? 

I think I would be okay with a boy.  I just don't think I'd have another if I knew it would be a boy, kwim?  And it really does feel like rolling the dice.  After going HT, the risk in going natural seems so much bigger  It's like wow, how do people do this without knowing in advance, lol.

You should totally have one more by the way

 

 So, I have the same family as you, and I'm about positive I'm done.  For about the first year of DD's life, I would've said yes, if you can guarantee me a girl next, I'd have another.  Now I don't even want that.  My life is so full & busy with these 3 kids, that I know another one would send me over the edge.  I think DD (and my boys) would rather have a mom who can give them the attention that they need, as opposed to one more sister.  Because really, each additional kid takes away from the kids that I already have.  I do not want my time (or resources) to be divided anymore.  I am getting my girl "fix", and right now I don't feel the need to do it again. I don't long for anything I haven't already experienced.  Not to mention- who's to say that the sisters would even have a good relationship?  My sister and I are currently 28 and 27, and have never had a close relationship.  Not growing up, or now.  We're just so different.

I hope that helps.

D_J_M_:

I am getting my girl "fix",

I know what you mean.  I get to do hair bows and earrings, and dolls.  I don't feel like I would be doing it for me (seriously).  In fact, I'm thinking there might be more mother daughter mani pedis and shopping trips if I only have one who wouldn't rather spend time with her sister  It's just when I see how close my little men are that I think it would be awesome to have two of each . . .

D_J_M_:

My sister and I are currently 28 and 27, and have never had a close relationship.  Not growing up, or now.  We're just so different.

I wonder about this sometimes.  It's a good point.  I was never close to my brother, but maybe it wasn't a gender thing.  And my boys are quite close to DD, I just wonder if it will last.  Will they not be close when they get older, and will she feel like the third wheel?

 

Lilian78:

I was never close to my brother, but maybe it wasn't a gender thing.  Will they not be close when they get older, and will she feel like the third wheel?

 

In my family it went GGB- 1 year in between the first 2, then 4 years later came my brother.  As an adult, I've been closer to him than my sister.   I don't think he minds what our family is.

Lilian78:

You should totally have one more by the way

YOU should definately talk to my husband!!!  I would in a minute, but I'm lucky he "gave" me the last two.  I was thinking about it after I replied to this and thought, in a few years, DD will bat her big blue eyes and long eyelashes at DH and I bet she'll talk him into it!!! 

Sedona~:

was thinking about it after I replied to this and thought, in a few years, DD will bat her big blue eyes and long eyelashes at DH and I bet she'll talk him into it!!! 

This would work for mine too!  But I think it's me who needs the convincing at this point (DH is easy).  But of course, this would convince me too! 

Sisters rock I say have another

sunnyinflorida:

Sisters rock I say have another

Hey, no baby pushers allowed in "done having kids"--oops guess I shouldn't post here either  Are your girls super close?

I feel totally done since having dd. I had some moments after she was born thinking oh no!! No more babies what would another girl or boy look like??? I love babies and baby naming etc... but it was just because I have been in baby making mode so long. I won't lie I do believe I feel done because of dd and not in spite of having a dd. I know if she would have been boy #6 I was adopting a girl. I just really wanted to raise a girl along with my boys. Once she was about 9/10months old I really started to feel glad I was done, and now she is over 2.5yrs old and I AM SOOO done. I am ready to move on from it and the thought of pg and a new baby gives me shudders now haha, but I still get excited when others are having a baby and I sometimes am whistfull of the excitement of having a new baby, but I get over it when I think of morning sickness, later pg, colicky babies, poop and puke, screaming toddlers and hormonal teenagers (btdt with one already) and just recovering after having a baby. Would it have been nice for dd to have a sister?? I don't even think about it, because I totally am not giving her one. She can have sil one day... 5 of them. That is plenty sisterly bond

oh wanted to say that when she turned 2yrs old I did get a pug pup. I think I needed something newborn to care for and well... he did the job hahaha. And yes he is a BOY. I figured why break with tradition.