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So afraid

May2010

Not Ranked

Joined 11-19-2009

Posts 24

May2010

Hi everyone, My name is Melissa Embarrassed

I am 14 weeks today with my second child I have a 7 yr old boy and my husban has a 4 yr old daughter both our children are from previouse marriges and i am very happy with my son, I really Honestly can say from the bottom of my heart that what ever i am having will be fine with me i have sooo much fun with my boy and i love him to death .. and if i had a girl i am soo sure it would be the same .... so i dont have a prefrence ... BUT!!!!! my hubby is flipping out ... he tells me the story of the day he found out he was having a girl and how it broke his heart .... dont get me rong he loves her with all of his heart but the gender did disapoint him ..... now our DR told us that bassed on a study they did Between 5-7 weeks if the babys heart beat was highrt than 150 it was a girl and if it was lower it was a boy at that time our babys heart rate was 142 bpm ....now he is counting down the days to our next DR appointment on dec 3 .. and i am looseing sleep over this im sooo affraid to dissapoint him .. i know how bad he wants a boy and i keep having this dream that the dr tells us we are having a girl and he starts to cry ....OH GOD !!!!!!!!! i have this pain in the pit of my stomach ... i just cant wait to get over this appointment anyone have any advise pleaaaassssseeee Helpppppppppppppppppppp

xoxoxoxox good luck to all the mommies to be xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Baby Bear Boy Kristian 3-7-2002 Happy Sunshine     Baby Girl Laylani  Due 5-20-2010 Hearts

 

sdiharm

Not Ranked

Dallas, TX

Joined 11-17-2009

Posts 82

sdiharm

First off, don't listen to your doc about that study.  It maybe right slightly over half the time.  Maybe.  Both my boys were in the 160s-170s.  I had heard that, too, and was wanting a girl.  It gave me false hope.

Second of all, I can totally understand why you would feel this way.  Maybe you could talk to your husband  and tell him how you feel.  Let him know that his feelings about his daughter's gender are worrying you and you don't want to disappoint him.  Although technically you have very little to do with the gender determination, if anything.  Nothing has ever been PROVEN.  And take comfort in the fact that he loves his daughter now.  He will likely have a period where he is disappointed and will possibly even act a bit childish about it.  Just try to realize this has nothing to do with you.  YOU are not disappointing him.  The gender of your baby is largely out of your control.  The hardest thing for you will be to NOT take your husband's disappointment on yourself.  Relax and realize he will feel that way regardless of anything you do.  Come alongside him and try to understand him and be sensitive to his hurts, but don't allow him to bring you down with him.  If his attitude begins to do that, take a break and go somewhere for coffee or something.  Do you have any close friends you can talk to about this?  I am not advising you to talk behind your husband's back, but sometimes having one good friend to go to for advice in a specific situation or event can be worth so much!  Also talking to him about the possibility of having another girl may help.  Maybe try pointing out after a particularly special moment he shares with his daughter that it really wouldn't be so bad to have another one of those.  Not too much, or it will get on his nerves.  But just gently here and there.

 That's my best advice.  I wish you luck and less stress.  RElax and take the load off!  IT isn't your fault or responsibility just like it isn't my husband's fault for giving me 2 boys! 

 

Baby Bear BoyBaby Bear Boy and Baby Bear Girl due in May!  Woo hoo!  I feel so blessed!


 

May2010

Not Ranked

Joined 11-19-2009

Posts 24

May2010

Thank you soooooo much I know what u are saying so true and i will try my hardest to take comfort in your words ....... there isnt much i can do .. besides WAIT...... I would be enjoying this so much more if he didnt feel so strongly about this .... I guess its only natural for guys to want their boys but i wish they knew how much stress they cause us unintentionaly Agsin thank u soo much ur an angel....Hearts

Baby Bear Boy Kristian 3-7-2002 Happy Sunshine     Baby Girl Laylani  Due 5-20-2010 Hearts

 

May2010

Not Ranked

Joined 11-19-2009

Posts 24

May2010

Thank you soooooo much I know what u are saying so true and i will try my hardest to take comfort in your words ....... there isnt much i can do .. besides WAIT...... I would be enjoying this so much more if he didnt feel so strongly about this .... I guess its only natural for guys to want their boys but i wish they knew how much stress they cause us unintentionaly Agsin thank u soo much ur an angel....Hearts

Baby Bear Boy Kristian 3-7-2002 Happy Sunshine     Baby Girl Laylani  Due 5-20-2010 Hearts

 

Saxophonic

Not Ranked

Joined 09-22-2009

Posts 359

- IG Top Posters (300)

Saxophonic

Don't worry about it at all right now.  All of my boys have had different heart rates.  My first son's HB was always above 165.  The only boy I have had that had a HB below 150 was the baby who was usually around 140.

It's hard to wait to see and not over analyze every little thing, but really... there is no way to tell until you see the baby bits.  I put no validity into any wives tale anymore.  By all intents and purposes 3 out of 4 boys should have been girls by old wives tales.  Each and every pregnancy has been completely different and I could eat different things.  Just try to relax and enjoy the short time you're pregnant.  It goes by so quickly don't waste it by fretting over something you cannot control.

Baby Boy01
Baby Boy03
Baby Boy05
Baby Boy09


 

 

May2010

Not Ranked

Joined 11-19-2009

Posts 24

May2010

Surprise Wow 4 boys i can imagin how calm you household is LOL ...but i can imagin how much joy they bring u as well ....... thansk for writting back i will try to chill Happy Wink thanks !

Baby Bear Boy Kristian 3-7-2002 Happy Sunshine     Baby Girl Laylani  Due 5-20-2010 Hearts

 

venus1

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Boy

Joined 06-06-2009

Posts 355

- IG Top Posters (300)

venus1

My doctor just told me last week that the heart beat thing doesn't mean anything, so I wouldn't worry about it. My mother was told that she was 100% having a boy with my SISTER, based on how low the baby's heart beat was during her pregnancy. My sister was born a beautiful, healthy girl. It doesn't mean anything. Once your husband meet his daughter, he will fall in love. I guarantee it!
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/293c9b
 
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