Anyone else mourn even before finding out gender?

I am only 8 weeks pg and already find myself tearful at times, convinced that I am having my third boy.  No, I don't know the gender yet.  I guess I have just convinced myself that this MUST be another boy.  I know that if it is, I will adore him just as I do my first two sons and he will be the perfect fit to our family.  I think more than anything I am mourning the fact that I may never have the daughter I so desperately long for.  This will likely be our last baby (unless we decide to adopt).  Ugh.  I wish I could just enjoy this pg and get on with life instead of being so fixated on the gender. 

Anyone else go through this kind of sadness even before finding out gender?  It makes me crazy sometimes.

me too I don't even want to find and hold out for it being a girl at delivery

Yes, twice.  When I was pg with ds2, because I figured if I was careless enough to get pg while bfing an 8 month old, I deserved another boy (I planned to sway).  Then, I went to MS and was a OHW with MS/IUI with an 81% sort which I thought was disastrous, and figured it was another boy, too. (Then m/c at 11 weeks....)  THEN, for a short while, thought my IVF/PGD baby was  a boy, because two techs said they would guess "boy" at the 13 week nuchal scan.

I think mourning the loss is our way of protecting ourselves and preparing ourselves just in case we are not expecting the gender we had hoped for. 

Me..well not enough to mourn but enough to be disturbing a good night's sleep.

I will be finding out in 2 wks, since I am having amnio next Friday. I am absolutely sure this will be our last baby, as I cannot afford to delay my career anymore...I have become part timer since preg. So this is my last chance , and I am kinda desperate.My U/S at 12w4d has been predicted to be a boy, yet I still feel like it would be another girl. It sound just too good to be true to have both genders as children...until the 17w amnio, I might be walking on thin ice.

Yes!!! Oh my gosh. I even decided to pay out of pocket for a ultrasound (tomorrow) because every day wondering is torture to me. Even if it ends up being another boy at least I can start dealing with the disappointment. I especially understand because even though I only have boy already this is my last baby because I will have to have a hysterectomy after this one. So I constantly wonder boy or girl. My pregnancies so far have been identical so I am convinced it is another boy and already feel heartbroken about it. Also my Dh doesn't care about the gender and only makes me feel like a bad mother if I say anything to him. I am so thankful for IG. If it wasn't for this sight I'm sure my emotions ould eat me up to the point of going to a shrink. Anyways, I hope you get your girl. Good Luck.

Yes!!! I am so ready to find out what this little one is so I can move on and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy b/c it will be my last. I'm probably going to do a private u/s in a couple of weeks b/c my dr said it would be around Dec 10th before they did another one. I can't stand to wait that long, the sooner I find out, the better.

little ladybug:

I think mourning the loss is our way of protecting ourselves and preparing ourselves just in case we are not expecting the gender we had hoped for. 

I completely agree.  This is exactly what I did during my 4th pregnancy.  I was only a few weeks pregnant but I was still miserable and mourning the little girl I would never have, even though I never found out at the u/s. I 'knew' #4 was a boy just like I 'knew' #1,2 & 3 were girls.  I was wrong every time.  I would talk about my baby with absolute certainty that it was a boy, so much so that everyone thought that I'd found out at the ultrasound.  I chose a boys name, bought a new non-pink outfit or two and would only picture my future with 4 boys.  It helped my anxiety about my 4-boy-future a lot.   I also asked friends and family to only refer to the baby as 'he' as I was mentally preparing myself.  Everyone understood, and were happy to do this for me (I was upfront and light-hearted about my request).When my little Bramwell turned out to be nameless-girl-baby, I was genuinely surprised and unprepared as I had done such a good job with my mental preparation. For weeks, I was even a little disappointed that I didn't get to use my boy's name and also felt like my baby Bramwell was missing.

So yes, go for it with the mourning and mental preparation.  It helped me a lot.

I'm actually only TTC right now, and already I have convinced myself the next will be a boy also...I'm preparing myself to hear it's a boy at the u/s too....I think we do that to try to protect ourselves from the dissapointment if we don't get our desired gender.

little ladybug:

I think mourning the loss is our way of protecting ourselves and preparing ourselves just in case we are not expecting the gender we had hoped for. 

I agree.  And I am not pregnant yet with my 3rd, but if we don't do HT, I will in your EXACT shoes.  We always planned to have at least 3 kids, but this very reason is why I wanted to have a girl 1st (didn't happen), and then 2nd (had another boy).... so that I could breathe easily the 3rd pregnancy b/c if I had one of each, I honestly wouldn't worry what my 3rd one was.  Well, no such luck... I am not even pregnant yet, and I already feel like I am pregnant with another boy and mourning the loss of a girl.  I do think it is a defense mechanism and a way of protecting our hearts.  BUT don't give up hope yet... I hope you hear girl very soon!

I did, at about 7w.  Then when I found out it was a girl, I mourned the loss of the boy I wouldn't have. I felt crazy.

Odyssie:

I chose a boys name, bought a new non-pink outfit or two and would only picture my future with 4 boys.  It helped my anxiety about my 4-boy-future a lot.   I also asked friends and family to only refer to the baby as 'he' as I was mentally preparing myself.  Everyone understood, and were happy to do this for me (I was upfront and light-hearted about my request).