How good does getting your desired gender feel?

dream:

I cried in the past imagining hearing "it's a GIRL" but when the time came I was dry as a bone. I didn't believe it. I had a hard time believing it the entire pg. I felt like I was "faking" buying girl stuff I was waiting for the other foot to fall... it was a weird time and one I didn't expect I would feel specially since I had imagined it for Soooooooooooooooooooo long.

When she was born I was over joyed but still felt like I was faking. She looked like my boys had to be cared for like my boys, the only difference is she looked like my baby boys in drag. I also had alot of guilt for my sons. I think it was because once she was here she was pretty much the same as them (as newborns) and I had alot of guilt for how I felt over having boys for so many yrs.......alot of guilt for my sons and I really felt like I had to "prove" my loyalty to them and that they are just as loved and valued.

BUT she is 2 yrs old next week and it has sunk in. She is one of my kids now not "the girl" or the "favoured and longed for one" just one of my kids who I love the same as my boys. I still wish I would have known she would come eventually though... so I could have enjoyed my sons' pgs and relished the person who was coming and not the gender they were.. and I won't be condensending, having the desired gender I longed for did end my GD. Not instantly hearing "it's a girl" but it did end it.

This sums it up nicely.....but add a lot of anxiety in the mix of it that she would somehow be taken away from me.

I wanted a boy from the get go.  I was so mad at my sister for buying me pink stuff at my baby shower even though we were told 90% girl.  I held onto my boy dream until she was born.  Ditto for DD #2.  I love them both and they are wonderful.......so much fun!  But I really wanted a boy.  Funny that my DH didn't care and loves his girls!  I don't want to push the GD, but since you asked, it feels wonderful for me!  My DH is so in love with that boy and I'm totally infatuated!  My girls are older so I enjoy them in different ways than the baby now.  We go to movies and get manicures and they love it!  Then I get to come home and play with my little guy.  I pray and hope you get yours....it is wonderful!

How good does getting your desired gender feel?

Wish I knew...

I grew up in a family with 3 girls and then a boy, so it DOES happen!  My parents never cared about gender either way so everything was left completely to chance (as if they had many options when they were having kids!).  Good luck!

MyDreamBabi:

How good does getting your desired gender feel?

Wish I knew...

brazilian_mommy:

run_girl_la:

Well, the first time I was preggo I wanted a dd badly - I knew I'd be devastated if I didn't get my girl since I had no idea if we'd have another. We found out at 18 wks it was a girl, and I literally sobbed from  happiness. I was on cloud 9, calling everyone I knew. I was literally beaming and SO excited. It was one of the happiest days of my life, and I still love my girl to death.

This time at the u/s when I heard "boy," I started sobbing - but not from joy. I was upset and disappointed and angry and scared and frustarted, and all those feelings have lingered. I wanted another dd. I wanted dd1 to have a sister. That's not to be, and that makes me so sad. I'm resentful of this pregnancy, and I'm ready for it to be over. I didn't feel that way the first time.  

 

See, that's what I don't understand... You were already blessed with a girl, why would you NOT want a boy? If not for you, at least for your DH. I understand your preference for girls and giving your DD a sister, but to the point of sobbing? How would you feel if you were having another DD and your DH was the one "upset, disappointed, angry, scared and frustrated"? I am sorry and I don't want to judge anybody's feelings here, I just don't understand what's the problem of getting one of each

 It actually does sound like you're judging a little bit. It is more unusual to want same-sex children, but, as I posted the very first time I came to this board, I have not had good experiences with men. Basically, my biological father didn't want me and wasn't in the picture; my brother is a drug addict and delinquent; I was raised by women; I had an abusive fiance at one point. I understand that not all men are like this, but the thought of raising a boy terrifies me. I am a girls' girl. And, honestly, my dh does not care at all; he's not a macho kind of guy, and he adores our daughter, so he would have been happy either. He's not disappointed that it's a boy, but he's disappointed for me if that makes sense. While it's more common to want a different gender when you have two or three of the same gender, the GD I feel is real too.

MyDreamBabi:

brazilian_mommy:

You were already blessed with a girl, why would you NOT want a boy?..I don't want to judge anybody's feelings here, I just don't understand what's the problem of getting one of each

Everyone has their own opinion of what is an ideal/perfect/dream family. For some its the pidgeon pair B/G, G/B...others like all girls/boys, others want mix with lots of kids...nobody can judge which configuration is better than another.

I can completely relate to run_girl_la though.  I always wanted ALL GIRLS...lots of them.  Maybe a son for DH eventually but I wanted my girls first.

And I can understand wanting the sister bond for her DD  and wanting them to be close...just look at her signature...she's going to be 4 yrs difference with her younger brother..by the time there is another baby (IF there is another baby) the spread might be 6 or 8 years! 

Yup, that pretty much sums it up. And there won't be another baby. :( I'm 36 and while I get pregnant very easily, I have hard pregnancies, and dh is 45 and is most definitely done having kids.

I am finally having my girl and honestly the feeling wasn't everything that I had made it up in my mind to be...at least when I heard it was a girl.

Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled but I had an early u/s at 13w6d and the tech was adament it was a girl, got a good nub shot and a toilet shot with 3 lines, so I was excited but scared to get too excited and hopeful. Then at 15w0d I had another u/s and was told girl again. Again I was excited but still scared something would sprout. It was starting to sink in though. Had my anatomy scan at 17w4d and was told GIRL. Then I started to relax but it was kinda anti climatic. I thought I would cry, scream with joy, etc, etc but I think b/c I heard it so many times but was leary it took the "Ah-Ha" moment out of it. I have had 2 more u/s and its been confirmed girl.

I am really thrilled to be having my girl. I know I will be so excited once she is actually here and I know for certain she is a she.

RUN GIRL LA

Wow! This totally sums me up to...but opposite... wanted ALL boys... have ds1 (2years) and dd1 on the way....I wanted 4-6 boys..maybe 1 girl at the end! Although it's what everyone "thinks" is great... it's just not for me! I'm so glad to see that someone has my same feelings... I hate the whole "you have a perfect pigeon pair-stop complaining" thing!

rjrobin:

RUN GIRL LA

 

Wow! This totally sums me up to...but opposite... wanted ALL boys... have ds1 (2years) and dd1 on the way....I wanted 4-6 boys..maybe 1 girl at the end! Although it's what everyone "thinks" is great... it's just not for me! I'm so glad to see that someone has my same feelings... I hate the whole "you have a perfect pigeon pair-stop complaining" thing!

Exactly, the "perfect" pair isn't perfect for everybody! Sometimes our desire for just one gender is stronger. I do wish we could switch, and then we'd both be happy.

It felt amazing! I can't cannot even describe the feeling without feeling emotional. I have always wanted a DD and when I found out at the U/S, I burst into tears and DH's eyes were watering. My DD is everything I have ever wanted a daughter to be. She is girly, loves pink, ballet, barbie and American Girl dolls. Next year she will be starting to play the violen. I could not be more PROUD!

brazilian_mommy:

You were already blessed with a girl, why would you NOT want a boy? If not for you, at least for your DH

Ugh!!  Why oh why oh why oh why do people assume that DH wants boys???!?!  Maybe her DH only ever wanted girls??  Yawn... so over the "got to give your husband a son" comments..... rant over

Well, I can't tell you how I felt because I haven't experienced it, but I can tell you how I "will" feel if it ever happens :)

If I am pregnant with a DD next time, it will honestly be the happiest day of my life.  I wanted a little girl of my own ever since I can remember. 

Of course, if it's a Ds I will be over the moon as well. 

I really just want another baby to add to our family.  I love my Ds soooo much it hurts so another boy will only add love and joy to our family.

If we have a girl, I will be overjoyed and floating on cloud 9, but I will not let these feeling cloud the love I will have if it turns out to be a boy.  Does that make any sense?  hehe, well it does to me ;)

Pink Ladies:

brazilian_mommy:

You were already blessed with a girl, why would you NOT want a boy? If not for you, at least for your DH

Ugh!!  Why oh why oh why oh why do people assume that DH wants boys???!?!  Maybe her DH only ever wanted girls??  Yawn... so over the "got to give your husband a son" comments..... rant over

The same way people assume women want girls...  and that seems to be the majority of women here on GD. And I know, at least for my DH, that is very true. A marriage is made of two people so I take his feelings very seriously. Also if you already have your desired gender, I can't see why somebody would be "crushed" to get the opposite. Babies are blessings!!!! Not just a GENDER!! *sigh*

EDITED -->> Looking at your signature I see that your third girl was a "GD baby". I wonder if you were the only one disappointed or your DH had anything to do with it... Hmmmmmmm

brazilian_mommy:

Babies are blessings!!!! Not just a GENDER!! *sigh*

But... this is a Gender Disappointment forum...?

Plus, it's a husband's "fault" if he doesn't get a boy! ;)