How good does getting your desired gender feel?

I'm so nervous about trying again for a boy.  I remember the crushing feelling at my 20 week ultrasound for my 3rd girl.  It goes without saying that my girls are my life and I love them fiercely... I just don't know what I would do if I heard girl again.

I specifically remember when I was about 30 weeks pregnant with girl 3 hearing that I good friend was having a boy after a girl.  I was trying to organize the girls' closets and I just got overwhelmed and threw a little fit that included some pretty good hanger tosses.  Thankfully I was alone for my little breakdown.  It is b/c of this moment that I'm scared to go through it all again.

 I'm wondering now if hearing the gender you want feels as good as hearing the opposite gender feels bad.  I have this vision of seeing my boy in the ultrasound and just how happy and good that would feel.  I am also overcome w/ fear about hearing girl again and how rotten that would feel.

If you have experience w/ the fear of hearing yet another opposite please let me know how it went for you.

 

PS- Does anyone have a boy after 3 girls??? I don't see many families of 4 and none where the baby is a boy :)

 

 Well I dont have an answer to your first question because I dont have my desired gender. 

 But I do know 2 people who's 4th baby was a boy after 3 girls.
My parents. They had 3 girls, then a boy, then 2 more girls. And also a friend of my DH, he had 3 girls and finally the 4th was a boy. Then he got greedy and wanted a brother for his son and got another girl. Then they stopped. But yes, it is possible to have 3 girls and the 4th be a boy.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide! 

dont read if you get offended by girl after boys shock.. I reacted horribly,embarrased to admit, was sure it was boy number 4,when she(u/s tech) said"I dont see boys parts...this is a girl." I melted down. I was like "Oh you have to be kidding me...right...what am I gonna do with one of those?!" She looked at me puzzled like you have 3 boys and now its a girl and you arent excited and said"Trust me I have one of each and have to say one isn't better than the other but my daughter is different and fun and we are happy to have her...as you will be too when the shock wears off." I stared off in space...called my mom and DH with a mono tone voice and said "Guess what it is...its a girl..." Of course my mom cried for 10 mins and my hubby had a huge smile on his face all day but I cried off and on...happy and sad... experienced some serious sexual abuse as a child and was afraid of what might happen to her,it don't help with Natale Holloway and all those victims of serial killers/predators being majority of females on the news...told my mil about her being a girl and cried like heck telling her my fears...she is an all boy mom...it had to be hard. I am still trying to deal with the mixed emotions,I am so excited,so thrilled but feel like its too good to be true like something bad might happen...it don't help when ppl say"It might still be a boy ect...""it could sprout a penis." My hubby is such a sweetie he is like"The chances of that are zero..." NONE OF MY BOYS looked like she did between her legs!!!!

My Mum & Dad had 3 girls then a boy. I am  the 3rd DD and boy do I know it. I'm close to my Mum but my Dad has made no secret of wanting his boy. Within 3 months of him being born he'd had the snip. All my life he has been the "Golden Child" whilst I've struggled with my place in the family.

I too cannot put myself through the period of mourning and self loathing again. Never again!

It's high tech all the way or nothing for me!!

GL. xx

It felt nothing like I thought it would feel. Nothing at all.

I spent years daydreaming about what it would be like to find out (by u/s) that my angel boy was "coming back". Sometimes I could imagine it so vividly that I would be in tears. I remember thinking that if I were ever told I was having a boy with #2 or #3, I'd be an absolute sobbing mess.

Then I found myself pregnant with #3 and seeing clear boy bits and a boy nub at my NT scan. My dr. kind of laughed about it, saying that he doesn't often see such an obvious boy at 13 weeks. There were no tears. My heart was in my throat. The following week I was told, "Go buy all the blue you want. It's a boy for sure." Not only was I dry-eyed, I could barely muster a smile. I was happy that he looked healthy and well, and happy that it looked like I might have another chance to have a son ... but sad about everything that I'd been through, sad about my losses, even (surprisingly) really sad over the little girl I wasn't having. It was very, very strange.

I spent the rest of the pregnancy waffling between joy, fear, and total disbelief. I was sure he'd somehow "turn into a girl", and I few times I almost wished he would. I was terrified (and sometimes still am) that everything was a dream, or that he'll be taken away from me again. I think it didn't help that he was unplanned, and that I'd FINALLY accepted that we wouldn't have any more children and that my strong feelings that we would have a son were all in my head. I wasn't just at peace with it, I was glad to be moving on. Finding out I was pregnant so unexpectedly put me right back in the middle of all those feelings.

I think when we have GD, it makes it easy for us to think that getting our DG will be all sunshine and roses and all of the issues that led us to have GD in the first place will be fixed. Maybe it works like that for some, but for a lot of us all the events that led to our GD still happened and have to be dealt with, and a lot of new feelings and issues can be stirred up. Besides that, my son is just a baby. I love him, but not any more than my daughters, and the joys and complications of having a baby in the family are exactly the same.

I don't know if that helps or not, but that's been my experience - and though it hasn't been what I've expected, I'm grateful for ALL of it. Even the very hard parts.  

I think your reaction depends on how much you want that specific gender and your reasons for wanting it in the first place... I have 2 girls and I've decided that this was going to be my last baby even before I knew the gender. My DH never kept a secret that he longed for a son so he would have someone "on his side" in a house full of girls, etc. So we had a talk and I realized that even though he really really REALLY wanted a son he would be ok with another daughter too. He wanted 3 kids - no matter what. So we proceeded in using a few "tricks" that we saw on the internet in order to get pg with a boy since we haven't done anything special with DD2 (DD1 is from a previous relationship). 4 months after trying I found out I was pg and I felt that he was on the edge, very scared to find out gender since that could crush his dreams of having a boy permanently. So when I was 10 weeks pg we bought Intelligender, I did the test and it came out GIRL. When I told him I could see the pain in his face even though he was trying his best to hide it. I was disappointed but my main focus was HIM. After the initial shock he started getting used to the idea and we even picked out a name (Hailey). I found out alone during an u/s at 12 weeks in Brazil while visiting my family that I was expecting a boy (doc said 95% sure) but i didn't want to tell him until I got the confirmation. Then when he said it again at 16 weeks I called my DH and he wouldn't believe me! I guess he was so afraid of disappointment that he would not get his hopes up. I guess he only believed it when he went on the 4D u/s with me at 27 weeks and he saw the boy bits with his own eyes! You must be thinking... "how does SHE feel?" Well I have been focusing in my DH's emotions all the time because I know how important this is to him but of course I am happy that I will get to raise a little boy for a change. It's not an "overwhelming happiness" feeling but more like curiosity about the unknown. I love my girls with all my heart and would definitely welcome "Hailey" into our lives but seeing my DH make plans for this boy just fills my heart with joy that we were blessed with both genders and we will both get to experience the close bond between mom/daughter and dad/son. Sorry about the long post - I just wanted to let you know my reasons for being happy for my DH even though I know in my heart I would be happy either way

I have to say the day of my 19 week ultrasound, when I found out I was having my much longed for daughter (also have 1 stepson and 2 sons)  was without doubt the happiest day of my life. I have NEVER felt joy like it. I floated on a cloud of happiness for the rest of the pregnancy.

When I found out I was expecting the boys I was devastated. Shattered.  Especially the second time. I didn't feel any bond with him till he was about 3 months old. I never wanted even 1 boy and I ended up with 3! Obviously glad now!

Gosh...I just wanted to say that I know that that will be the happiest day for me personally!!  I wanted a boy, but when you have four....is it much to ask for just one girl?  So, I know that because I thought ds2 was a girl, ds 3 was a girl and then ds 4 just had to be a girl finally...if dc 5 is a girl...well, I think that I will be shopping like crazy with my BOYS for soooooooooooooo much PINK stuff!!!  Can you imagine!! 

 For me,I was just shocked. I was elated..I didn't cry like I thought I would, but you couldn't get the smile off my face. I think I was more sad that DS 4 was a boy than I was happy that I was getting a girl though...odd. I love my DS' so much, which goes with out saying, but hearing boy the 4th time really brought me down.

My BFF has a boy after 3 girls.

 I'm nervous to try again too, for a girl... I was never planning on having kids, but if I'm going to have them, I definitely want a girl! And I don't want 3 or more kids. Just 2, so I'm really nervous.

 As for 3 girls then boy... my mom is the third girl, and my uncle was the fourth child. It definitely happens :)

I had imagined the scenario in my head but on the day it was a bit like when you finish exams or hand in a thesis, you expect to feel elated but you feel sort of flat. Mind you, I had so much bleeding and then my girl came 5 weeks later so maybe I was just stressed. This time we were just relieved (and surprised) as girls do better if born prem and I was also experiencing bleeding.

It felt wonderful!!  I felt happy and finally at peace. 

Now, I just have to wait until they actually get here.  Then "real life" begins!  lol

I've had GD for a long long time.   I can remember writing in my journal at age 12 worried that I wouldn't be able to have a DD ever.   I wanted my first to be a girl because I wanted to know that "the girl issue" was taken care of, then I would have been fine having a son next or another DD.   So I was sad at my son's ultrasound and was depressed and worried about my next child.   I love my son, and loved him in the womb, but it wasn't the plan, and that bothered me.   Witht the 2nd pregnancy I wanted to sway hard core,...but had a surprise having sex only one time in the fertile window.   Sure, again, because of the timing and lack of sway in was another boy.   Taking TMPOB twice and intelligender only confirmed boy.   So walking into my 20wk ultrasound and hearing its a girl was mind blowing.  I was was speechless and in shock, and was crying so hard that I couldn't talk.  The nurses were so excited for me and keep hugging me.  

I didn't believe it for a while, and got two more ultrasounds to prove it, and still after having her was in shock.   It was about the one year mark were in really set in.   I wanted a girl for the generic girly girl reasons, and she is proving herself to be way over the top with girl stuff.  So, eveyday I think about it, and realize that this dream came true for me, and I don't feel worthy of it. 

I'm still selfish and if given the opportunity for another, I pray for another girl  and I hate that I don't know why...

I've longed for a DD my whole life. I actually wanted ONLY girls. I had GD with my DS1, and GD with my DS2 hard core. Now, they are the lights of my life. With my 3rd pregnancy, we were fortunate to have a girl, and I cried at my u/s, smiled all day long (actually the rest of the 20 weeks of pg) and today, she is here and awesome. But after living it, I am surprised that I don't favor her. I really thought I would b/c of my girl dream chasing. She's a baby like the boys...and she makes me feel love just like the boys do. NO DIFFERENCE whatsoever.

Thank you so much for all the thoughtful responses.  It really is chasing a dream isn't it?  I can't imagine wanting anything more.  After having 3 of the same gender is just doesn't seem like I can carry anything else... oh the emotion of it all!

 I am so thankful for this forum.  Like so many of you, I do not share my GD w/ anyone IRL.  I have searched my soul for why I want a boy so badly.  It boils down to wanting to experience raising both genders.