Forum for Moms recovering from GD who got DG

 

AprilMay:

I don't think anyone is trying to hide anything, but I will admit that you should have your own forum, because this type of GD is very different from the GD someone like me is experiencing.

Exactly. Just like it's important to have the new Moving On forum where people won't just post things like "try again and I'm sure you'll have your DD someday." I had no idea that there could be such a wide range of feelings and issues associated with this whole gender business. Until I found IG, I felt like I was crazy and the only person in the world who felt like I felt. It was so good to find this place where people understood, and I think it's really important to extend that so that people in lots of different situations can still have a place to be understood without trampling on the feelings of people who are struggling with different issues.

Praying4Pink:

Portia West:

Auhmmm I may sound as unsupportive now but having "GD" still

after getting your dream gender child seems a little bit over the top for me -

I mean there are always things in our lifes that we will struggle with, that is how life is!

And making it such a big deal that you had your dream gender child and still suffer

from GD makes little sense to me, and I can see that for some

it may even make their own GD feel even worse as they can see people

here who did get what someone else dreamt so much about , and yet they

still feel disap. If you dont feel like belonging onthe GD-forums you have so many other

forums here to write on instead. These are my thoughts about this

This is a perfect example of the kind of crap we get for feeling the way we do.  And why we have to hide in private and feel like we're skulking around.

Our feelings are no longer valid because we had the DG.  "You got what you wanted and I/we didn't, so p!ss off now please."

Thanks for trying OP but I think I'll go back into hiding...  We obviousely can't even discuss the idea without being shot down in flames I doubt we'd get much support for a forum of our own.

Don't do that praying4pink, ya when I read that I was a little irritated too but we also have to understand that others won't understand unless they have gone through what we have. I understand the guilt you've felt and so does most of everyone else that would be posting and supporting in a new forum. Hopefully a new forum for us will help others like Portia understand a little bit how bad the guilt can be and if not atleast we'll have our own forum to go to where if they didn't understand than I would hope they'd have enough respect to not throw it in our face, iykwim. I think a new forum would be great and help people understand and also so people don't hid their feelings. They shouldn't have to feel like that. I can tell you though that I would never post on a thread that was supporting the idea for moms of one gender to have their own forum, especially if I didn't agree because I would not be going through what they are. I would keep my mouth shut so I didn't hurt others. I hope you don't let that stop you.

I just wanted to add that I think the new forum for the Moms of One Gender is a great idea, I didn't want to sound like I didn't. For Beebs and Portia, are you just against that name, or the whole idea? I didn't vote for it cuz I wasn't sure if I should since the forum wouldn't be for me but if I did I think it would be moving beyond gender or adjusting dreams.

 I'm for it.  Just thought MOOGS was a retarded name.  Glad to see that wasn't chosen...

BeebsNBubbs:

 I'm for it.  Just thought MOOGS was a retarded name.  Glad to see that wasn't chosen...

What was chosen? Just curious.

Please, please let there be a board for this.  I am in real need for it.  I have so many conflicting emotions from this all that I don't feel comfortable posting many places.

I am happy I have my DG.

I am having a hard time bonding with her because she is a very high needs baby....and no where like (personallity wise, not girl part wise) I dreamed of.

I am still sad and resentful that my high tech journey did not give me my dd, even though I ended up with one anyway.

Add these to a million other crazy emotions I never thought I would feel after 'my life would be perfect because I had a daughter' (enter sarcasim).

I wish I could write more now to get it all out!  I really hope we have a place soon for discussions like this!

 

I think this is a great idea.

I also wanted to add that i kept my user name Mom of 3 princes for almost  a year and a half after dd was born. I loved being a mom of 3 boys. Yes, my heart ached for a girl. And i cryed tears of joy when i found out i was pregnant with her. But I also felt a little weird, almost like i was losing my parenting role because i could no longer say 'the boys' i would have to say 'the kids'. It is very unusual to explain and it would be wonderful to be able to talk to others in the same situation.

Madison:

I felt I needed to reassure everyone  that my boys were special and wanted.not instead of her but as well as. I wanted boys and girls.

I had to ward off the 'finally got a girl comments' and a host of others. Just the same as during the pregnancy.

  Me too. 

 

 

Although I’m a all boy mum I totally support all of you ladies and I understand why you need your own forum. I think it’s a wonderful idea!!  

I think I'm confused about what the need or issue actually is...but I'm on that other side of the fence, so I can't understand. 

I really like this idea. I would just like to say I have dealt/ dealing with these issues too. I look back and realize that I couldn't fully enjoy my pregnancy or baby days of my daughter because I didn't even want anyone to think I loved her more than my boys. "My Boys" God I miss just saying that. Yes, I always dreamed of a daughter and yes I have enjoyed her but not without the fear of someone suggesting I love her more because I have wanted a daughter for soo long. More so when I found out she was a girl. Also, through my journey I discovered I never had GD. I was never dissappointed to be having a boy I just wished somewhere in there I could have had a daughter too. This expirence has made me closer to my boys and I appreciate having three boys sooo much. I can honestly say I feel lucky to have them. I make sure they know they are just as adored and wanted as our daughter. Protective would be a good word choice here. Bottom line if I could have known these feeling might be there I would have been more prepared to address them. Instead I had to use the precious time during my pregnancy and the breif baby time to sort this all out. The good news is I do feel I have sorted through it and have found the balance. I would love to see this forum.

Portia West:

Auhmmm I may sound as unsupportive now but having "GD" still

after getting your dream gender child seems a little bit over the top for me -

I mean there are always things in our lifes that we will struggle with, that is how life is!

And making it such a big deal that you had your dream gender child and still suffer

from GD makes little sense to me, and I can see that for some

it may even make their own GD feel even worse as they can see people

here who did get what someone else dreamt so much about , and yet they

still feel disap. If you dont feel like belonging onthe GD-forums you have so many other

forums here to write on instead. These are my thoughts about this

But remember, there are some people that don't get the traditional GD too....so we know that not 'understanding' these feelings does not make them less valid.   AND the purpose of such a forum would be, in part, to have a place where those who could be 'hurt' by such feelings would know to avoid. 

I think there is more to it tha not feeling like belonging. While you are correct, there are other places to post, I will say (personally) that I HAVE had unexpected feelings about having my desired gender and I do NOT feel comfortable posting ANYWHERE at IG for fear of hurting someone who DOES  have strong GD(disappointment).  All the same, I would have really liked to have shared some of that. 

I think you guys just want a place to talk openly how life wasn't "perfect" after getting your desired gender. That is awesome. Because although I have 3 boys and don't know what this one is I have invisioned what I would feel like if it were a girl and somehow I feel a little bit sad like well now I will have to make sure that nobody forgets the boys, and what if everyone only reacts to her in stores, and etc. I totally understand how you can feel upset yet especially since like many said being a boy mom for so long which I have been for 7 years I would feel kicked out too. But same token I want a dd.

 i was surprised there wasnt a forum like this, i am fairly new here and have been reading through alll the various threads around here, learning what i can and enjoying the stories. I like to smile along with the happy ones and cry along with the sad ones, I suffered only mild GD with DD3, and im not sure how i will feel if #4 is another girl, its been good to have a window into how i may feel from reading others posts on the GD forum. But id also love to read about people who DID get what they wanted, for some hope and inspiration and as it turns out from what you are saying there is another side of things too that i would be curious about.

 It sounds like a great idea and people would love to read it even if they didnt have anything to add (yet) or were stuck on the other side. Perhaps there may be some who cant handle it, but no one is going to force them to read that forum and from what ive seen here everyone is caring and supportive and genuinly glad for someone else to have what they have been longing after, even if it is not themself.