I am so sorry you're having such a difficult time! It is just really crappy to have to deal with other people and their comments. And the answer is, they will never stop! It's so frustrating and a common complaint around here from moms who have multiple children of the same gender. The only thing you can do is work on yourself on dealing with the comments as they come. It really helps me to come here and vent about comments that are made to me/ about my children and sharing comebacks with these ladies. Also, if I know I'm going to be around repeat "offenders" as far as the rude comments go. I get a few comebacks ready before we see each other.
My in laws seem to really want a DGD. Currently, they have four DGS and no DGD. Just the other day, fil was making a comment about how all four of his DGS have such different hair colors and he said that we have it all. I pointed out that we don't have a red head. He said, oh yeah, we need a red headed little girl! She would rule the roost and we'd all be taking orders from her (as he gestured around the room, including the DGS's) I'm thinking, I'm sorry, but no... she won't. My son's will be just as important as they always were and my dd would not be getting special treatment just because she's a girl!!! I should probably add here that they had the pp, and they did treat their dd much differently than my dh.
As for having two boys, I can tell you from experience, that it is amazing. I was worried about it as well, but my boys are so different and I have learned that regardless of gender, kids are kids. They will have their own interests and personalities. The challenge is raising the kids we are given and not trying to make them into the kids we want. It's a big challenge!
And don't worry, just b/c they are boys doesn't mean you'll end up being a soccer mom. My ds1 doesn't like any team sports but he does gymnastics and LOVES it! The sad thing is I LOVE being a soccer mom and would love to be at the ball fields watching him play baseball or soccer. Some of my fondest memories from his younger years involve us being at the ball fields when he was playing. I'm hoping ds2 will be into that kind of thing.
I am curious, have you had gender confirmed or are you just going by what they said at 12 weeks?