anyone else get a gender determination around 16 weeks?

I'm so glad to hear that you are finding peace with it. I too am coming to terms with it. I posted a 12 week nub shot I didn't realize we had and everyone said boy! I am happy this baby is healthy so far and looking forward to seeing the baby and getting gender confirmation. I totally hear you about being sad not having the experience of a daughter- but it will be amazing for your boys to have another brother. And I suppose maybe a 4th could be a possibility down the line- and that one could be a girl? But right now it's so good you are able to focus on the positive- I feel so guilty as my husband put it "this baby isn't getting any love" :(. And you are so right about welcoming your new little man. I'm sure he will melt your heart. My 2nd has me wrapped around his pinky nail- and I definitely had gd after he was born big time! I'll keep you posted on my ultrasound but I'm definitely prepping for boy- that nub posting just drilled it in my head I think. I think we'll both have to think of the bigger picture after the baby comes and the hormones level out. I think for me I'm super excited about this baby, but when I think of never having a life experience of a daughter it is overwhelming to me how sad it makes me- but I'd rather focus on what I have right now and be the best for them- which sounds like what you are doing too! So glad you are in a better place!! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is easy.

Hi Csaldana, Definitely boy 3 for us too.. I attached a pic. Feeling more at peace with it today then I was last month that's for sure. Hope you are still feeling good! I just wanted to update you. It's still kind of shocking on so many levels.. but I have had to accept it. So grateful the LO is looking as healthy as can be. He will be a hell raiser with his brothers I guess ;) We need to move out of the city to a house.. with outside space.. pronto!!! I did ask how common it is to get the same gender after 2 of the same.. seems like only is a 49/51.. but the dr. telling us had 3 girls of his own.. 5-15 yrs old.. joked about his nightmares at his very "pink" house. GL with the rest of the pregnancy! Hope you are feeling good!!!

Hi Hope1212! Congratulations on you new little boy!  I am happy that you are doing better with accepting it. Believe me, I know how hard it is!! I've had good moments where all I want to do is finally meet/hold/love him and moments when I still cry my eyes out about why I could never have the daughter I've always wanted. My good friend came over the other day with her brand new baby girl (after two boys) and sadness slowly creeped back. I started feeling sad not about having a third boy because I have accepted that truth but about never having that daughter. It's a rollercoaster of emotions and pregnant and hormonal doesn't help! My DH and I have discussed it and this is for sure our last. Will you have a 4th? My oldest ds is 10 yrs old and is truly the best kid on earth! He is such a big help (physically and emotionally). DS 2 is 28 months and definitely in his terrible two's and very challenging! I've never had two little ones as my eldest was 8 when my little one was born. I am anxious about having to meet the needs of two small children while not neglecting or taking advantage of my eldest. how old are your boys?

 i was just thinking the other day how when I was pregnant with DS1 I wanted a boy so bad. I was hoping that it wouldn't be a girl. My family always had boys first and so that was my dream. Weird thing was that i never imagined that I was ONLY going to have boys. Not exactly the life i imagined for myself. I'm grateful for the life that I do have and that I have beautiful and healthy boys and that is what I should keep focusing on!

 Also, I'm having a really hard time with names. i don't love any of them. Heck, I don't even like any boys names. maybe it's the fact that i wasn't imagining yet another boy or maybe i feel like I have used them all. How are you doing with names?

Anyway, it helps that someone else understands what you are going through and I hope we continue to keep in touch! Take care!

Hi Csaldana, So glad you wrote! I am definitely all over the map sadly. I am excited to meet this little baby. Terrified I am messing him up big time with my negativity and sadness :(.. and also just overwhelmed really. I don't think I can give up on having a dd. It has hit me super hard. My sons are young.. my oldest will be 4 soon and my little one is just about 2.5.. they are 19 months apart. Like you, I totally pictured having a boy first.. then a girl.. then a boy. I always wanted 3, and I always wanted 2 boys.. just never imagined I'd never have a girl! I'm 37.. so I'm feeling a lot of pressure.. like we will have to get pregnant immed if we really are going to have 4. And we'd have to do high tech to guarantee it.. and both of us are uncomfortable with high tech.. so it's been hard. My poor dh.. it's like he's just been caught in such a whirlwind.. He was nervous about having 3 kids.. now feels so overwhelmed at idea of 4.. but he's super supportive. Just wants us to have this baby and not overlook him first.. then discuss what to do after. I of course want to discuss things now. I feel like I"ve been pregnant and/or nursing for 5 years straight.. which I have.. so feel super overwhelmed at idea of doing it again.. I had never imagined myself with 4 kids all back to back and putting work on hold like this. We don't have any family living near by to help, and financially can't afford help. So.. as you can imagine this is all super overwhelming. I just saw my friend who had her 3rd.. a girl.. a total oops baby.. and she is so girl.. it was painful. I just can't help but wonder how/why it couldn't/didn't happen for us. Even DH said to me.. you know I thought we had a really good chance it would be a girl.. we both said had we thought about maybe we would have waited and did high tech.. or atleast considered it.. but I think we both really thought between the sway and the odds the baby would have been a girl.. I feel so conflicted about everything and in the meantime getting bigger and bigger which is making me feel worse. I have no names.. I barely had a name for DS2.. I am having a super hard time coming up with any. I know this baby is going to be so special and amazing.. I just wish I could rally behind this pregnancy and be happy that I am having a healthy baby who will be just as amazing as his brothers. I know we are so lucky to have been able to get pregnant and have healthy kids.. it's just so hard imagining never having an experience of a daughter. Also, when my boys are being wild I just feel like oh I can't imagine 3.. what was I thinking.. kind of things. If you are really done at 3 I can tell you I have read so many articles about women who are so happy to have 3 sons. There is something super special about boys and their relationships with their moms. I mean my DH is kind of awful with his.. but honestly.. she is pretty awful.. so you kind of get what you put out there I suppose. My sons are so sweet with us, and with each other. Oh my gosh.. my oldest protects his brother like there is no tomorrow and they play so nicely together it's just amazing to watch. I know they will love a 3rd brother and he will fit right in. I just can't shake not having a girl.. so.. I hope if we can really swing it financially, emotionally, physically we will just push for it and have a hard few years until they get older. I think the more siblings the better for them.. as long as it doesn't put the family in a bad place financially I suppose? And they get the attention they need.. hard in our situation since they are so young I guess. As you can see I am a rambling mess ;).. I think we will both feel so much better when our little ones are here and we are holding them. But yes, the name?!! I have no idea what to do about his name!! The poor thing!

Well it's another boy for us. After we found out at our last ultrasound on the 16th of Jan. I still didn't see a penis because she had the screen mainly pointed in her direction. Hubby said he thinks he saw something. Baby kept closing his legs and the pics they gave us shows no gender clues what-so-ever. I posted them in the ultrasound section. I was really bummed out about having another boy until hubby brought up us going high tech for a girl in the next 3-5 years. I was seriously SHOCKED that he brought it up because in Dec when we were told boy he said no way we would have another baby. We actually talked to my Dr at my last appt about microsort. He said he thinks before we do it to have hubby tested to make sure nothing is wrong with his girl sperm. I was surprised when he said we should do that. Never even thought of that to be honest. He said he'll be there when we're ready to talk more about it when it gets closer to that time. Lately though thinking of having 4 kids seems like a lot. Having 3 I'm fine with but 4 seems like a lot. It scares me to no end. I still keep looking at girl stuff and have to remind myself its a boy. We found the stroller and carseat combo that I want on clearance at Target this past weekend. Hubby was like ok let's get it. We also got some clothes, exersaucer and a pack n play. He's been so encouraging lately and positive. Our friends and family here want us to have a shower. We've never had one with all our family and friends here. It'll be nice to have that experience with them. Finding a name has been challenging. We like Mason, Aiden and Devon. Nothing that feels 100% right yet. I'm trying to stay positive and get excited about the baby. Sometimes its hard though. I really thought I'd have 2 boys and then a girl. Hubby and I were so sure this was going to be our little girl. My husband is an only child so I felt like I let his parents down when we found out this was another boy. His mom had a hard time staying pregnant. She had 2-3 miscarriages. I can tell hubby would love to have a daddy's girl. It took me awhile to post because I was bummed out and cried a lot after finding out. Horrible thoughts were running through my mind to be honest. I hate admitting it. Seeing him at our 3rd ultrasound was helpful though. We got to see him yawning and moving around. Also we finally got some pictures of him so it's nice to have those to look at.

Hi , That's great that your husband is willing to talk about high tech for a girl! It's good that you can wait a bit too. We are in our late 30's so feel insane pressure that if we were to go for 4 would have to be immediately. And 4 kids sounds super overwhelming with such close age gaps.. our first two area 1.5 years apart and then this one will be about 2 3/4 years from our second. Would you do microsort? The Dr. we spoke with briefly about it said it was only 70% guaranteed. That made me kind of nervous. But I just posted in the high tech forum because the OB I saw today had a super weird reaction when I asked her about IVF with PGD. She said it is highly controversial.. people don't do etc. I told her the other dr. openly brought it up to us. She was super surprised. Then mentioned that they have to remove a cell to test the gender of the embryo.. which could then make something be wrong with the baby. I had never heard of that.. so got super nervous and wonder if she knows what she is talking about? Finding a name has been awful, hasn't it? Atleast we have a few months! I like your choices though. They all sound good! I completely understand what you are going through. I had a really rough day last week when my two boys were so out of control. I was in a bad place for a few hours.. thinking and saying things I really should never have been. I think it's natural to be angry. It's hard when it seems so easy for other people to have a mixed family etc. I have to keep reminding myself how hard it must be for people who can't even get pregnant and so desperately want a child. Let alone those who do, and the child is not healthy. We are very fortunate to have 3 healthy children.. it's just hard when life isn't what you pictured it and feels a little off balance I guess. For me, I just can't stop thinking about the future. My DH is upset by this.. wants me to focus on the now and this LO that will be here. He feels like the baby is going to get overlooked because he's not the "right" one etc. I did have awful GD with our second son. Even though I knew we were going to have 3 kids. I think I just knew that it limited my chance of having a DD. But let me tell you DS2 is such a gem. He has me wrapped around his pinky nail. I don't know what I would do without him.. he's going to be an incredible man one day. I know this little baby is going to be every bit as special as his brothers. I think we just need to readjust what we envision for ourselves I guess. Whether it be 4 kids instead of 3, or never having a DD. I think the latter is too painful for me to even conceive at this moment. Maybe I'll feel different when I am trying to juggle the needs of 3 kids (boys at that!) under age 4. Or maybe it will be so chaotic it won't even matter if we add another! ;) I think the next few months will be hard for us. But once our babies are here I am really hoping and thinking things will feel different. It's good you and your hubby are both thinking you can do High Tech. It leaves hope for you. In 5 years having another baby may not seem so overwhelming since your 3 boys will be more independent. I think if you really want to do it, then it will feel okay. I wish we could have a few years to think about it.. but I feel like I'll have to start thinking about it once the baby is 6 months old and space the next one 1.5-2 years from this one.. seems super overwhelming to me. Plus, financially we already aren't in the best spot so thinking high tech plus another child.. phew.. I don't know.. I just don't know :( I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Your boys are going to be so excited for another brother! And I'm sure they are going to be so wonderful all together. Feel Good!!!!

Hi Hope 1212,

I have had some pretty rough days lately! I was feeling so much better and now I can't seem to get over this sadness. Mostly, I have severe guilt for: not fully enjoying this pregnancy because it's not was I really wanted; looking ahead at different options of how I may one day have a DD instead of focusing on the baby I am having - almost as if I am waiting for the big prize and he is just a bump on the road to get there; feeeling as though he took away my last chance of having a girl; loosing my faith that there is a God because how can God not know how deeply I prayed for a daughter. So many dark moments that I feel as if I'm drowning. The thing is what upsets me is truly not that I am having another boy but that I will never have a daughter! that kills me and for that, I feel sadness/anger over this pregnancy.

I would love to do high tech in attempting to finally get my little girl but dh just truly doesn't want anymore children. I am one of 4 so I am used to having a big family but the truth is that financially we can't afford it. On top of that, I have miserable pregnancies and physically I feel my body has had enough. i've always had a bad back and being pregnant is SO painful. There are days that I can't even walk. On top of that, I get a lot of pressure on my cervix and I feel like I am in labor every day. Of course I would put my body to whatever it takes to get that girl (lol) but hubby is just not on board. When we met, he never wanted to have children. I had DS1 from a previous marriage. He was very accepting of ds1 (who was 4 at the time) and knew that we were a package deal. However, we agreed that we would have no more children. as time went on, my desire for having more kids diminished and I was thankful that I at least had the opportunity to be a mom once. 4 years later, we had a HUGE shock and became pregnant with ds2. we were not planning him but then the enormous desire for my little girl hit hard. When the baby was born, dh fell head over heals for him! this current baby was our last chance for that girl.

I just turned 33 years old 3 weeks ago and already feel so old and tired. probably because i started early with ds1(I was only 22). I'm kind of done with having kids too.

Anyway, thanks for being my therapist lol! I feel like you and all the moms who are going through the same thing are the only ones that truly understand me. I can't imagine saying all these things to other people without someone judging me or thinking i'm a monster.

I hope you are feeling better and write back anytime you need to talk :) I know we are going to have good days and bads so let's just pray for mmore good. When is your due date? Mine is 5/28. I've had both my boys at 39 weeks so I suspect this LO will come earlier than due date too!

lilsweetone2118,

I personally love Mason but i'm being bias as I have a little Mason too. He is so adorable!

the hard part of choosing names this time is that they have to kind of go with the other names too. I have a Jeremy and a Mason. I was thinking of Zachary but I don't know. I like it but don't love it. I truly don't love any other boy names, except the ones I already have...Good luck!

Yes, we're thinking Microsort. From what we've read if you're trying for a girl you have 80% chance and for a boy 60%. I'm 27 and hubby is 29. Hubby and I plan on paying off all of our debt (except our house of course but if we could that would be pretty awesome, lol) and then start saving for microsort. Hopefully we'll have everything paid off in the next yr and a half and can start putting money away for the microsort. Our boys are 5, 3 in March and the baby is due May 8th. So if we can try in the next 3 yrs our boys would be 8, 6 and 3 by then. Having 4 kids seem overwhelming to me but then again everyone made it sound like going from 1 to 2 would be hard and it was super easy for us. Guess we'll see how things are after the baby gets here. The only reason we're looking into the future about a baby girl is to see if we can even afford to do any of it. We've been trying to concentrate on this pregnancy. Buying things for baby, trying to find a name. My boys are excited and I LOVE it when they kiss my belly and say hi or good morning/night to the baby. My almost 3 yr old will sometimes lay his head on my belly and kiss it and then put his hands around his mouth and yell "Wake up baby!!!!" It's so funny and makes me laugh. I wouldn't trade my boys for anything. They're mommy's little guys and I love them so much. Both are so protective of each other. When my dad or brother wrestle with one of them (wrestling was a big deal when we were growing up and my brother always says all the boys are going to wrestle and no not the WWE stuff. lol) The other will start trying to pull them off of his brother. The totally freak out if my dad or brother try and pick on me. It's so cute! Today another friend found out she is having a girl. Everyone around me is having a girl and it sucks to be honest. It makes me so sad. She told me when she was told girl (it's her second DD) she thought of me and felt bad for me. It kind of made me angry to be honest that she told me that. I still keep thinking maybe the baby could still be a girl. Boy stuff is so hard to find on craigslist right now. It's 90% little girl stuff listed on there right now and I still look at it. *sigh* I'm lame I know.

Csaldana, We can't find a middle name for Mason. We both love the name now but can't find a good middle name that sounds right. Our last name is Nisbett so it has to roll off the tongue right. We have a Gavin Riley and a Ethan Parker. Hubby and his dad's side of the family are from England. Everyone keeps saying Alexander for the middle name but we know too many little boys with that as a first or middle name.

lilsweetone2118:

Csaldana, We can't find a middle name for Mason. We both love the name now but can't find a good middle name that sounds right. Our last name is Nisbett so it has to roll off the tongue right. We have a Gavin Riley and a Ethan Parker. Hubby and his dad's side of the family are from England. Everyone keeps saying Alexander for the middle name but we know too many little boys with that as a first or middle name.

My boys are: 

Jeremy Hunter and

Mason James

 I love your boys names too! I thought of Gavin too but I'm not sure if it goes with my Spanish last name...

I had a pretty big scare yesterday. I started cramping really bad and had some bleeding. I panicked and thought the worse! I felt so horrible for all the times I wished he wasn't he and for all the times I prayed that he would turn into a girl and not fully accepting him in my heart. I had this huge desire to hold him in my arms and kiss his sweet face and tell him that I am sorry. Everything is fine but it really got me thinking. I'm going to put my desire for a girl on hold for now and really focus on this little guy. He deserves to be my main focus right now.

So sorry to hear about your scare!! So glad everything is ok! I think you definitely have the right attitude. Hope you can relax and feel good the rest of your pregnancy! Stress is definitely not good right now. Sending good thoughts your way!!!

We had a DNA blood test done at 12 weeks which is supposed to be over 99% accurate. We also had our 20 weeks anatomy scan which confirmed we were having a girl.

We heard every OWT in the book and all pointed to having a boy, which we assumed we were having from the sight of the first + pregnancy test becasue we had prayed so hard and swayed (though not enough). We were completely shocked when we found out but now we're thrilled about our baby girl.

Hang in there mama!