Feel like crying

Am new here and feel awful. I have 4 children and the 5th on the way. I have 3 girls and one son not in that order. I found out on Tuesday that I am expecting another girl and am devestated. Thought this was definately a boy and cant seem to stop crying about it. My son wanted a brother so badly and I feel I have let him down. I know it is irrational and should be pleased that everything is normal and progressing fine but still have all this heart ache as I really wanted another son. Can anyone give me any words of wisdom to help me get over this diappointment???????

Please.
Ruth

Dear Ruth,

Congratulations on your healthy ultrasound.  I think we all totally know how you feel over here.  I don't know if I have any words of wisdom, but I do know that your feelings will eventually lessen over time.  And I do believe that everything happens for a reason.  I was devistated when I found out my third was another boy, but now I could not imagine my life without him.  I'm sure it will be that way with you and your daughter.  And maybe this new girl will have a special bond with your son, you can never predict how it will go.  Good luck to you!!

Claire

Ruth, I am so sorry for your disappointment. Believe me, I've been there. It isn't easy, but it does get better over time. Go ahead and grieve for the baby you dreamed about; it's important to recognize that you truly are grieving right now, and that those feelings need to be expressed. Don't feel guilty for not being happier about having another daughter. It's a common feeling for those of us without a balanced family. (I wouldn't advertise to your daughters that you are disappointed, though, because that will make them wonder why girls aren't good enough for you.) I can't imagine life without all of my children, boys or girls, and you will probalby feel the same, in time. Take care and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

~Roxanne
Mom to Alexander, Aaron, Justin, Stephen, Rhiannon, William, Matthew, and Leia.

Thank you so much for your kind words I know that when baby is born I will adore her but I was just so shocked as I was certain it was a boy. I have almost 4 wonderful daughters and should be grateful that I have a very special son
Thank you

Ruth, it is okay to cry and grieve.  It is okay to be sad about the dream you had of giving your brother a son is not coming true.  This doesn't mean that you won't love your new daughter just as much, but that you need some time to adjust to your family being different than what you had hoped for.  Give yourself a treat (a facial or a pedicure sound good to me!) and when you get ready, buy some new things just for this baby that you will look forward to using, even if it is only small things.

Hugs to you, I know what a difficult time this is but you will work through it.  So many of us have been in your shoes and cried those same tears, you are not alone.

~~ Maureen