So upset! my Mum is not going to be there to meet our new baby

I have written before about how my Mum is battling cancer and I have felt guilty about worrying so much about the gender of this baby while there is this other huge thing going on. I also was scared that neither of my prayers woul be answered (most important without a doubt was Mum being OK).

The week before last a complication (bowel obstruction) occured and Mum, who had been doing relativley well has now been told that she does not have much time left (weeks). She has been allowed home and is receiving palliative care and hospice assistance. It has come as a huge shock to all of us. I am very, very close to my Mother and this is so hard it is breaking all of our hearts. I cant imagine my life without Mum in it.

I feel so sad and scared. It seems like my life is crumbling. It makes me feel guilty that I am still hoping this baby is a boy. It feels like I shouldn't care about anything so trivial when my Mum is dying. I wanted a little boy. I wanted to share that with my Mum.

I'm sorry for the ramble I am just feeling so sad and upset.

hi darlin , i want too say how very sorry i am, my heart goes out too you, i know how upset and shocked you must be feeling right now, i lost my own mother too cancer, i just wanted too send u my luv thoughts and a big kiss and hug, if you ever want too chat im here for you, i wish there was something i could do or say too make u feel better, lots of love too u thinkin of u XXXXXXX

I am so sorry . My husband and my best friend lost their moms before they met their grandchildren. It is very sad.

I wish I could day something to cheer you up. Hang in there.

I am so sorry. I hope the remaining time you have with her is as wonderful as can be.  I lost my dad at 17, and am so sad he never got to meet my husband or my kids.

I just want to send you lots of hugs!!!!

I am so sorry. I wish I had words to magically make it better...please just know that we are all thinking of you and wishing you peace and strength

 I am so sorry to hear about your lovely Mum, it must be so so hard. Please don't beat yourself up about still hoping that you will have your little boy, you are only human. For one thing, of course it is something you will think about still, and for another, your hope for your little boy is probably something you are focusing on to help cope with your Mum being so unwell.

I really hope you get some nice time with your Mum in the coming weeks and hopefully months xox

If your mom is unable to be there when the time comes remember she is still with you in spirit and that you could still have a bundle of blue in the end so try not to stress now about that. And you obviously care and love you mom deep its okay to think and worry about the other trivial things in life. One idea also would she be able to attend a 4D scan to see the baby move suck thumb, etc. Prayers for you.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know its hard to deal with cancer, its a horrible disease. All my prayers will be with your, your mother, and your baby.

 

Thankyou for all of your kind words.

This is so hard I can't believe that Mum will probably not be here for Christmas. I find it difficult at the moment to talk about the future with Mum because I dont want to upset her that she is not going to be there for it. This has all happened so suddenly we are all in shock. I will definitley be showing her all scan pictures and video (She would be unable to go herself).

My 4 year old is finding it hard to understand. She keeps saying that she doesn't want Grandma to become an angel she wants to keep her. She makes me smile and cry at the same time. She has made a picture for Mum of her (4 year old), a butterfly, a flower and her grandma. She has put angel wings on her grandma. I don't know wether to let her give it to Mum or not. I know she will like the picture but it will also upset her. Mum has talked to the kids about her not being there and some things they can do when she is gone to feel close to her/still have her in their lives.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I lost my mum in a house fire and it kills me to not have her here to see any of her GC. I cant offer you any words that will make you feel better but if you want to PM me i can tell you my story and how i have coped all these years. I am sending you all my hugs and sympathy.

I am so so so sorry to hear about your Mom. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better but we are all here for you and sending you lots of hugs, prayers, and strength. Please don't feel guilty about wanting a little boy... it doesn't mean that you are any less sad about your Mom and it's not trivial. It is something separate from the love you feel for your Mom and you are certainly allowed to have your feelings! And remember that as a pp said, your Mom will always be with you in spirit... hugs hugs hugs to you....

I can't even imagine.  I am so sorry.

Your post really has had me thinking about you and your mom lately, and today I saw a commercial for a recordable christmas book from Hallmark where you record the story into the book using your own voice and when the child turns the page it reads each page. Is this something your mom could do and you could keep it and they could always hear grandmas voice. I just thought of you my heart goes out to you so much my family have lost many to cancer and are currently in a losing a battle again.

that's a wonderful idea. but I would suggest copying the voice onto a disc or cd so that if the batteries quit at some point you don't lose it. But a wonderful idea indeed.