Working through my GD is proving difficult

because all my baby does is scream. Trust me to have a baby that screams non-stop, we've tried everything to help ie dummies and colic drops but she still screams. 

To make it worse my health visitor asked me to do a test on postnatal depression and i scored 25 out of 30, they class a score above 10 as having postnatal depression. I knew i was having problems bonding with the baby and i seem to have lost all interest in her, making my other half do everything while i sit and cry or stare into space. I have tried telling myself i'm ok and this feeling of not loving the baby will pass, i have tried putting on a brave face and telling everyone how happy i am but it don't seem to be working. I now have to make an appointment with my doctor and go and admit how crap i am. Most of all i feel so guilty, why can't i love my baby, its not her fault i'm horrible

keeley, my heart goes out to you this morning. You are definately not horrible, your just tired, maybe feeling guilty because your a bit disappointed, and I'd say still in shock from such an unpredictable birth!, and all those silly homones still flying aroun. See the Dr, see what they recommend and just do the best you can with the day to day untill then. Things will pick up and become more settled soon, I know this rubbish weather doesn't help either, we need the sun to break through again for a while to recharge everyone.

Keeley I really feel for you as I too have had postnatal depression after the birth of DS2 so I know what you are talking about. You are not horrible just tired. Do you have family that can help you during the day so you can get some sleep? The good news is that there is a lot of help out there for mothers suffering with depression, I am sure that your health visitor can help you with that. Are you breastfeed the baby? If so it might be an idea to switch to formula every other feed so your husband can feed her while you get some rest.

PM anytime if you need to chat.

Hugs to you, Luci

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way!  I've never had pp depression but I really have a feeling that I'm going to have it with this one...I'm not excited at all about boy #4, and I don't even like it when people bring it up!  You have to give yourself a break though--she's so new and you still have all those hormones to deal with!  I hope you feel better soon and she settles down.  Hugs!

I had horrendous PND after DS1 (related to nearly dying in child birth - eclampsia and then intensive care more than gender) but i avoided it this time as I was on meds during the pregnancy. It's hard hon and especially as you have 6 other children to look after! A saint would crumble! Don't beat yourself up. The way I look at it, if you had a broken arm, you would go to the hospital and have it mended. PND is no different. Hopefully your doc will help. Rest as much as you can, tiredness makes everyting so so much worse. Hugs

Awww Keeley. (((((hugs)))))

You sound so like me after DS2. I've been there, more than once, so know exactly how you're feeling. It's a dark dark place that you're at and life feels like such an uphill struggle.

There is no shame in admitting you need a little help. And ABSOLUTLEY no shame in not bonding straight away with your baby. I did not bond with each of my babies straight away, even taking as long as 6-9 months with one of them. There is absolutely no harm done and my love for him (now 9 years old) is tremendous, as is his for me.

My DS5 was a screamer. Nothing pleased him and he would scream non-stop till he was almost a year. Let her scream. It'll do her no harm. Some babies just like the sound of their own cry. As long as you know she is dry, fed, warm etc.

I don't think this is gender related. It just happens sometimes. I think you're a brave brave woman for facing your problems. You have a front to put up, to show the world you're coping. A bigger woman admits she isn't coping and accepts help. For the sake of your beautiful DD's and for your quality of life. Go see your Dr and let it all out.

You're an amazing woman. I'd love to meet up one day.

Keep us posted sweetie.

Much love & hugs, Lisa.

 

I'm so sorry!!  You're not "crap." You're depressed!!! 

Can you get on some meds to get you over the hump?  There's no shame in it.  Hugs.   

I dont at all think you are horrible...you are sad that she was your 7th girl and shes colicy...you will find you love her you are just sad she wasnt a boy and she is colicy which if I had 7 boys after the loss of a daughter and a colicy infant to boot I would be feeling the same. It is hard to overcome GD and there is MANY hurdles to cross but you seem to have a good mind set(from your one post in raising above) which is a great step in the right direction..maybe the doc can prescribe some meds to help with the PPD...it worked to help me when my first son was born early and I blamed myself..dont be afraid to ask the doc for help med wise for ppd.

Hi Keeley

I posted about the very same thing in top posters. My long awaited daughter is not the rosy cheeked cherub I was hoping for. She screams all day long and  I have tried everything I know to help her settle but nothing is working.

Its just so hard after 3 perfect little boys who smiled coo'ed and slept in all the right places to have her wailing her way through each day.

I have no magic advice,if its not physical then Ive been told its just her way. She is stroppy, impatient and no where near as tolerent as the others were.  

Maybe a visit to the doctor will help,give it a try. you have nothing to lose. I always think 'care for the carer'. If you feel better then you will cope better.

take care

 

Keeley, anyone would feel the same. Getting thru the first few weeks with any baby is rough. I can't imagine a colicy one. Not to mention, you have several others to care for and had quite the unexpected birth. There is no shame in PPD, not your chosing -and those pregnancy hormones are still shifting. Do talk to your Dr. and be easy on yourself, but do ask for help-from friends, whomever......GL

Have you tried a swaddling her real real tight and putting her in a craddle(it is a like a baby bed) swing with a pacifier and turning on the motion and the music? It is expensive and I know you probably have enough baby things lying around. But this swing did wonders for us.

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Little-Cradle-Swing/dp/B0018Z6910

Dont beat yourself , give it time everything will fall in place.

Keeley,

After what you've been through, its completely normal and natural for you to have some GD.  After the " babymoon" when you're all in love with the new baby, then you get them home and reality sets in..."this is my life" and the GD slowly starts creeping back in.  I don't blame you for being disappointed.  You've gone above and beyond with having 7 girls in a row...its just not fair that you haven't had another little boy by now.  You made one once before, why is the universe so cruel to take him away and mock you with not granting you  your deepest hearts desire.

So come here and vent all you want. We are here for you and will listen.

As for the crying/colic, I would definitely  have her checked by a Chiropractor...sometimes their little necks get kinked/pinched coming out.

 

 

Orchid:

Have you tried a swaddling her real real tight and putting her in a craddle(it is a like a baby bed) swing with a pacifier and turning on the motion and the music? It is expensive and I know you probably have enough baby things lying around. But this swing did wonders for us.

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Little-Cradle-Swing/dp/B0018Z6910

 

 

All of the above TOTALLY worked for us.  We were at our wits end.  We swaddled until he was too big (www.miracleblanket.com) and even though he'd fuss & fight it once it was done he'd be out in no time (just like the baby in the video on their website). 

We had a white noise machine and went through TONS of D batteries (for the swing) but it worked and he'd sleep through the night in that thing.  Our swing was a very similar FP one that Orchid linked to...trust me it WORKS!!  This is all stuff from the happiest baby on the block (the dvd...we were too stressed and short on time to read the book!)

 

 

oh keeley :(

ive never had depression as such i get more of an anxiety panic symptoms worrying about the baby or me etc but either way none are nice and depression dosent sound nice at all hun i think you are already 1 step better by just admitting your feelings instead of keeping them blocked up I also think these early days are SO hard and its normal to feel this way it dosent always mean you are depressed the other day i replied to your post on over GD or whatever that boards called and you sounded so happy i just know you love that baby hun you are tired and have all those extra hormones to deal with its hard

sending huge hugs your way

XXXXXXXX

Hi Keeley, I just wanted to suggest cranial osteopathy for your baby if she doesn't start to settle soon. I have not got experience of it myself but i have heard very good things. I don't know about your birth experience but if it happened to be tough on baby, she may have a headache.

HTH x