Have been trying so hard to avoid a VENT post but can't hold it in much longer

I am tired of waiting!!! 

We are 61 days past what we were told and thought would be the date we would hear about a referral.  I keep telling myself that if we are two months over the "due date" then we are just that much closer to seeing our dd's face.  Yet there is a fear in me that weights heavy in my heart and on my shoulders that we could wait longer then the estimated 16 months which is two more months.  It is predicted that it will reach 18 months easily (this is just the wait for a referal).   So what, I ask myself, so what if I wait longer.  I know it will happen and why am I in a hurry?  I am worried that we will miss the deadline to get the 12k+ tax credit but we will make due somehow.  So I try to relax, but I long to have this wait over.  I long to be done and moving on.  I am ready to put in some pig tails and bows and strap in three lil ones into their car seats and just take a BIG LONG vacation to disney world or something!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Hugs!  You have been so patient.  I'm so sorry you have to wait!  I really hope it comes through sooner.

Yep, the wait is a killer and I very much understand you wanting to move forward. I really found that there is nothing worse than standing stagnant in the unknown. 

I really hope you don't have to wait too much longer Will be thinking of you with everything crossed hoping you get your call soon.

You have done the longest part of the waiting, and hopefully Christmas around the corner will help time fly for the last bit of waiting that you have to do.

(((((HUGS)))))

I hope you aren't kept waiting much longer, I can only imagine how horrible the wait is and I'm sure the reality is ten times worse than anything I could conjure up in my mind.  It's the one part I am truly dreading in the adoption process.  I'm not a patient person at the best of times...

Awww, fratmom the waiting is so hard (and I haven't waited nearly as long as you!)  It can be so hard to keep the faith while others are getting referrals.  (I mean what is wrong with me..these are families that have been waiting longer but for some reason I feel a little tinge of something when it's not me getting the referral?   Wasn't Russia just going to drop everything and give me a referrral as soon as they rec'd my dossier?  Are there going to be any healthy children left when it's my turn?  I can't even believe all these thoughts are going thru my mind but there they are..)  The wait wouldn't be nearly as bad if we knew for sure when we would get a referral.  Will I be one of the ones who doesn't get their child?

OK sorry to take over your thread with my ranting.  BTW, I hope your boys run in the opposite direction if they see you coming with bows, LOL!!

 Vent anytime! This is what the forum is for. Well that and other things. The adoption process is long and hard and sometimes venting is needed to get rid of all that steam! 

I spoke to Angie last night and told her the same thing...you HAVE to be next!! It has to absolutely be your turns extremely soon! I have to tell you, *I* am sick of you guys waiting! LOL We need to see your daughters like right NOW.

You vent away, but I just know that very soon you'll be boasting those photos of your adoprable DD with bows and pigtails and girly girl dresses.

As my mom used to tell me when I got depressed about the wait...keep your eye on the prize!! You're gonna hit JACKPOT very soon!!!

I am feeling the THANKS IG FRIENDS!  You are all so uplifting.

We just found out that this month things stayed the same no movement they are still behind. 

I was told not to expect our referral this year .

So going to shut her door stop getting things ready.  I am not going to even look at girl Christmas gifts and just concertrate on my .

Oh, Fratmon, that's just not fair. What is going on and why are they behind (I know, this is IA...but still, is there a reason)?

::hugs:: Fratmom. Hang in there. Your DD will be worth the wait I still have my fingers crossed though, that miracles will happen you and you will be surprised with a referral by Christmas time x 

chooks**boys:

What is going on and why are they behind

I am sure there is still more to it then this but here is what I know.

Korea is changing its views on adoption and single mothers.

Adoption was not something that the Korean population as a whole did due to long held beliefs in how important the blood-line is.  The Korean government has made BIG efforts to make domestic (in Korea) adoption something that is socially exceptable.  There are large tax credits for families who adopt.  Also the age of adopting parents was raised (I think it is now 60).  Anyway all the efforts are working.  Koreans are adopting.  The first babies to go are HEALTHY then next is HEALTHY GIRLS.  Girls are still desired over Boys but by only about 20%. 

Also Korea never had any government assistance for unwed mothers.  And as far as social norms it was WRONG to have a baby without being married.  Children who were born without a Father's signature on their birth certificates have that noted on their picture id such as a drivers license.  Employers will fire a woman who has a baby without being married (or at least looking married).  Families will shun the unwed mother and her child.  However, those views are changing too.  There is one small group that supports unwed mothers and they are making a BIG STINK for government funding etc.  Also birth control use is going up and sadly so is abortion even though it is illegal.

Last Korea got HOT.  For American adopting International,  China was too long of a wait, Guatemala closed, Taiwan slowed way down, Russia prices kept going up, Ethiopia was too new...

And so you get the PERFECT STORM...

Less children to adopt + increased domestic adoptions + increase Adopting Parents to Koreas Program = Very less babies to send to too many parents overseas.

It is so bad that our adoption agency is asking parents if they would like to switch programs to Chinas waiting child or Ethiopia. 

Dh and I strongly feel our dd is in Korea right now born and we will know her face when the time is right.  No matter how hard that sounds my heart knows it is true. 

 We are SO far from this step of adoption, but I just now it will be excrutiating. I don't know how I'll be able to jump in & get the room ready & everything bought......but also know that there could be a horrendous wait.  How to you straddle that fence?  Between not getting hopes up, and making sure everything is ready?  I really hope everything goes as quickly as possible for you.  SOONER than later!!!

I just don't even have words anymore to describe how the waiting feels...............with November we started month 19 of waiting. 

Lord help us all who are waiting! It is just plain awful and torture!

Hugs!!!!!!

 It is so hard, we are into our 24 month of waiting with no end in sight.  I don't even like it when people ask me about it anymore. HUGS to you and your family!  You will be holding your daughter soon!

This is one of those times that MY Misery does NOT love the company.

for all of us who wait.

for all of us who wonder.

for all of us who dream.

for all of us.