Ready4Pink

Thoughts on twins

These forums are for us to support and offer advice both for those going through the process and those who have been there.  I came into IVF thinking I would only do a SET because I was terrified of having twins.  When I had a sketchy cycle with just a few embies, DH and I seriously discussed putting back one or two.  We looked at our finances, family situation, age of our boys etc. And decided that if twins happened, we would be okay.  And we are okay but it is FREAKING HARD!!!!

I see a lot of gals on here with little kids, working etc. And wonder if they really have any idea what twins are like.  It’s easy to have a fantasy view of two matching babies in the stroller but the reality is very different.  I’m not singling anyone out here.  In fact I haven’t been able to keep up with current cyclers so don’t take any of this personally.  This is just a general FYI kind of post.  I worry that RE’s are used to dealing with couples without children.  Most of the gals on here have 2+ kids already and are considering adding twins to the mix.

Twins are an amazing amount of work.  They will test your sanity, marriage, parenting philosophy etc.  They will turn your life upside down.  Yes, they are a blessing and when they are older, it will be a lot more fun, BUT the pregnancy and infancy will kick your ass.  Please be prepared if you are going this route.

Questions to ask yourself:

Do you work outside the home?  What is your medical leave policy?  Most likely you will have to stop working 6-10 weeks before your due date.  Who will be your childcare provider when you go back to work?  Can they handle 2 infants and the kids you have now?  What is it going to cost?

How does your DH handle the kids you have now?  Can he take on all of their care if you end up on bedrest or in the hospital?  What about after the babies are born? 

How does your DH do with newborns?  Will he be able to help at night?  He’s going to have to handle at least one A LOT! Is he the kind of guy who travels a lot, disappears in hobbies, gets buried in work etc when new babies come?  If so, you are in trouble.  

How is the state of your marriage? Are you patient with each other?  Have a good sense of humor?  Is DH on board with this whole thing?  You don’t want a spouse who can look at you later when the *%^& is hitting the fan and say I never wanted any of this.

How old are the kids you have now?  Do they require a lot of care?  Are they at difficult stages?  My boys at ages 6 & 9 have learned to fend for themselves a lot this summer.  They are microwaving Hot Pockets, bathing and putting themselves to bed. I shudder to think of the tooth brushing that is not taking place, veggies not eaten etc.

What’s your financial situation?  Are you going to be strapped after paying for IVF?  Medical expenses are very high for twin pregnancies.  Every U/S is billed twice since they are scanning 2 babies.  Hospital bedrest is outrageously expensive.  5 days for us cost $14,000.  Overall with a vaginal delivery and babies coming home with me after only 2 days, we still had $36,000 in hospital bills before insurance.   Now to see the pediatrician is $40 (2 $20 co-pays) at every visit.

Do you have family that can help?  Cause you are going to need help!  Will you have to hire babysitters?  You can’t leave twins with the neighborhood teenager.  You’re going to need a professional nanny or two.  $13-$15 an hour.  A post partum doula is a life saver but they are $20-$25 an hour.

Do you have a car that is big enough?  A double stroller, 2 cribs, 2 sets of clothes etc. 

With twin infants there is no down time.  For us, they rarely sleep at the same time.  Just as you get one baby down and think please God let me get a nap, the other wakes up.  Think 1 colicky baby is hard?  Try having 2.  You each have one so there is no one to hand off too when you think you’re losing your mind.  My DH has made HUGE strides in fatherhood with these babies but there are nights when it just gets to be too much.  He has to put a baby down and let them cry a bit.  It breaks my heart but I’ve got the other one in my arms so I can’t do anything about it. 

There is a great twins forum at www.twinstuff.com  I highly suggest checking out the posts to get a feel for what twins are really like. 

If you can look at all this and think yeah we can handle that, then by all means GO FOR IT!  It’s quite a ride.  Otherwise, please take this as food for thought.  (((HUGS))) to you all.  This is not an easy decision to make.

 Whew what a ride!  Labor started with my being admitted to L&D to have Cervidil applied to ripen my cervix.  If you’ve never tried this, it’s kinda icky.  They put a cloth string into your vagina that’s infused with prostaglandin to ripen the cervix.  About 4 inches of the string hangs out for 12 hours and you have to be careful not to pull it out when going to the bathroom.  The nurses monitor the babies and check the string several times during the night.  Not much was going on by morning and we were discouraged that my cervix hadn’t changed.  I’d been contracting quite uncomfortably but it didn’t seem to be changing anything.  By 11:30 AM the 12 hours was up and I was checked again. I was 2 cm dilated and my doctor wanted to try a Foley type catheter that inserts a balloon on either side of your cervix that is expanded with water to try to get it to dilate.  Yuck!  I was not excited by this prospect at all.  So I walked, stood, swayed whatever I could do as much as I could to keep the contractions working while I waited for the doctor who does the catheters to come in.  Once in I’d be confined to the bed. Ugh!

By 2pm they were getting that catheter set up and the doctor checked me again.  He told the nurses to stop because I was already a 3 (past the point of the catheter working) whooo hooooo!  He broke my water and put a scalp clip monitor on Baby A because she was impossible to track with the fetal monitor.  I hated the idea of that but knew it was needed.  Then the bad news was that my BP was shooting up.  180/100 (very bad) and they needed to give me Magnesium Sulfate in an IV to prevent seizures.  This was the preeclampsia kicking in.  I also had 2 beats of clonus (sp?) which is where your legs shake when they check your reflexes.  It’s a bad neurological sign.

Count yourself lucky if you’ve never had “Mag” cause it’s awful stuff.  It makes you sick, your heart race, skin burn, eyes feel swollen etc.  The anesthesiologist came in to do my epidural.  He looked really familiar and I realized our kids go to the same school!  Yikes he’s seen way too much of me now!  I have mild scoliosis in my spine so his first attempt didn’t work and hurt like hell!  Finally the 2nd place he tried worked and I got to lay back down.  The whole thing took over 30 mins.  Ouch!

So if you are keeping track of labor interventions I’ve had cervidil, constant external monitoring, a fetal scalp monitor with the wire taped to one thigh, rupture of membranes, IV magnesium, a blood pressure cuff and an epidural.  Coming up next are a catheter taped to the other thigh and pitocin because the magnesium is slowing contractions.  Also inflatable leg cuffs to prevent blood clots.  I joked to the nurses that I didn’t think there was an intervention left to do to me.  Or at least not any room to tape or strap anything on me!  I’m usually an earth mama natural laborer so this was all very surreal but needed give all the complications I was having.  

At 5:30 pm my OB checked and I was 5 cm dilated.  The epidural was working pretty good and I was just left laying there with all the crap hooked up to me.  At 6:30 I asked the nurse to help me roll over. I thought changing positions would help the baby move down.  I rolled to my left side and Baby A’s heart rate plummeted. I was really glad she had that scalp monitor on!   My OB walked in just as the nurse pointed this out and was rolling me back to my other side.  He said he wanted to check me even though it had only been an hour.  As I turned onto my back I felt more pressure.  He reached in and said he felt the head and it was time to go to the OR for delivery!

All hell broke loose.  DH was given a space suit and hair net.  My bed was broken down to roll to the OR, IV’s attached.  My mom who desperately wanted to be present for the birth had gone to the cafeteria.  I was telling DH to get his suit on then call her quick!  She’d never let me forget it if she missed the birth!  LOL  The nurses grabbed an extra space suit for her and luckily she met us in the hall just was I was wheeled into the OR.  (you have to deliver twins in there in case you need an emergency c-section plus it’s where they keep the recusitation stuff for preemies)  At least 20 people were assembled in there.  Some angel nurse remembered to set up the mirror I wanted to watch the birth, my legs were in stirrups and it was time to go!  Two pushes and I could see the head.  One more and she was out!  OMG she was soooo tiny.  I gasped when I saw her.  

OB hands her off to one NICU team then palpitates my stomach to figure out where Baby B is.  He decides she’s going to come out breech and reaches inside (yes up to his elbow!) to grab her feet and pull her out. I knew this was the crunch time because if he couldn’t grab her I’d be getting a c-section.  We all held our breaths and watched.  I have to say it didn’t really hurt. Or maybe I was so in the moment that I don’t remember.  I was just watching in the mirror.  Then he told me to push and I gave it everything I had. One more push and she was out!  Bigger than her sister but limp and blue.  She was handed to the 2nd NICU team and they went to work.  I would see people huddled around the babies but couldn’t tell what was going on.  DH kept standing up to see and getting in my line of vision.  I started to cry, soooo relieved that I’d given birth vaginally.

Then I turned to look at the OB and saw he was quite concerned.  I was losing a lot of blood.  The nurse was massaging my stomach, they pushed some more pitocin in my IV, someone gave me a shot of something for clotting in my thigh.  I delivered the placentas and prayed that I wouldn’t end up needing a hysterectomy NOW after all I’d gone through for a natural birth.   Thank God it slowed down and he stitched up a 1st degree tear.  

I was still watching the NICU teams work on the babies.  Baby B (Vivian) wasn’t crying and they were concerned.  There was lots of activity and I couldn’t tell what was going on.  Finally DH turned to me and told me they were both okay.  All the medical people started to vanish.  The last one handed me both babies wrapped in blankets and they started wheeling me back to my room.  We couldn’t believe they weren’t taking the babies away to the NICU.  I thought they’d made a mistake and come back for them but they never did.  We were back in the room at just a little past 7 pm.  The whole delivery had taken less than 20 mins.  The girls were born 3 mins apart and we were all fine.  It went so fast we couldn’t believe it. It didn’t seem real but there were our girls!

I had to stay in bed with the IV’s running to prevent seizures.  I wasn’t out of the woods yet with the preeclampsia.  I was also super anemic from blood loss.  The OB said I’d lost twice the normal amount.  The babies and I were checked every hour for our vital signs.  This basically meant we were up all night.  Georgia was having trouble staying warm and Vivian was wheezing.  They would occasionally put both babies under a warmer in our room.  The next day we talked the OB into turning the magnesium off because I was totally miserable on it and my BP was leveling out.  I also had a spinal headache from the epidural that was kicking my butt.  By afternoon I got the catheter out and was allowed to go to the bathroom.   On the 2nd day I was allowed to shower and they removed the IV.  They said we could go home that morning but took another 8 hours to do all the paperwork, car seat checks, hearing tests etc.  We finally got home around 6 that evening just 48 hours after giving birth.  

I’ve heard from several of the nurses and the OB himself that our birth was the slickest twin delivery they’d ever seen.  My OB said he’d like to take credit but most of it was due to me!  :-)  I’m so glad I found a doctor who trusted in my ability to birth these babies regardless of Vivian being breech and bigger than her sister.  Technically they don’t do vaginal births in those scenarios but I convinced him to try since I’d birthed 9 lb boys before.  I knew I could pop those girls out no problem given the chance.  Even with all the scary stuff with my BP, I don’t regret any part of the birth.  It went as smoothly as possible. 

I had another OB appt. and scan today.  Baby A used to be head down and somehow she turned completely around to breach.  Little stinker!  I thought her "punches" were awfully strong.  They are kicks!  Baby B is laying sideways, diagonally, close to head down.  My concern is that Baby A HAS to be head down for me to try a vaginal birth.  Plus this means both babies are in there kicking each other in the head.  Wonder what that does to their temperament????  My u/s tech said there is a chance they will move but they usually stay.  My doc said I have a lot of time to go.  Hmmmmmm....  wondering if he was just humoring me?  

Otherwise everything checked out great.  My blood pressure is perfect.  My cervix is 3.5 cm which is great.  The girls are growing on schedule and evenly.  I don't have to go back for a month now when I will do my glucose check.  Ugh, hate that part.  

So I should be happy but seriously girls, carrying twins is HARD!  I was waddling down the street today and went past a little old lady with the same waddle.  LOL  I see pics of gals carrying twins close to their due dates and they are HUGE! It's already painful to move around or stand too long and I have such a long way to go.  I know I am very blessed but I've been feeling down lately.

Okay so here is a typical night for me.  I eat dinner with the family at 6:30, eat again at 9pm after I put the boys to bed.  Lay down in bed to read awile before bed and realize I am hungry again around 11pm.  So I get up to eat a yogurt or something. Then the real fun begins.  I wake up at 4am to pee, realize I am parched and take a small drink of water.  The water signals my stomach that I am awake and starts growling and demanding food.  So much so that I can't fall back to sleep.  Drag myself out of bed to eat the last oatmeal cookie.  Damn DH ate it already.  Grrrrr  Fumble in the dark to spread some cream cheese on a piece of bread.  Eat that with a glass of water.  Back to bed.  Damn bread and water gives me heartburn.  Fumble in nightstand drawer for a rolaids.  Damn rolaids gives me a yucky aftertaste in my mouth.  Still can't fall asleep.  Drag myself out of bed to brush my teeth.  Pee again.  Finally fall back to sleep at 5:30.  

So I am wondering if this is typical twin pregnancy or if single preggo moms have to eat this much, even in the middle of the night.  I'm thinking I should just put a small fridge in my nightstand.

 

 

I had my u/s today to measure the trans luchal fluid whatever that is called. Both babies looked great and measured normal.  The doc said there was really no point in doing the AFP blood work since twins usually skew the results and we already did PGD.  Baby A measured 12 wks, Baby B 12 wks 3 days so that is awesome.  I am 11 wks 6 days so they are both right on target.  We lost our both our angel babies at 12 weeks so I'm waiting a few more days before I really exhale and relax that everything is okay.  I suppose I won't really until they are born, or turn 18, get married etc.  

The doc said I will deliver in the operating room but hopefully have a vaginal delivery.  It really depends on the position of the babies at the time.  They consider 37 weeks to be full term for twins so that puts me at the end of May. OMG this is really happening.

 I'm a normal pregnant woman!  Had another u/s and bloodtest today.  Both went fine and Dr. P says I only have to do 3 more shots and I am done.  Wooooooooooooooooo HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!   I cannot tell you how nice that is to hear.  Those PIO shots get really old. 

Ladies I have to tell you that a twin pregnancy is a whole new adventure. I am MUCH sicker, more exhausted and quite visibly pregnant already.  I also have these periods where I feel like I can't get enough air into my body.  I can breathe fine but feel like I need to breathe deep constantly.  Makes it hard to sleep.   I have to be really careful about my diet to make sure the babies grow big and don't come premature.  I had to change doctors because my midwife can't take on a twin pregnancy.  That was really sad.  I haven't really settled with anyone yet and feel like I am on my own.

I've been baby shopping and I don't know where to start.  What do I need 2 of?  All those cute pink strollers aren't going to work.  I need a big honkin double stroller. My latest challenge is finding 2 infant seats that will fit in my car and allow the boys to get into the back.  The only one that might work is orange.  And the pink "guestroom" that I've had ready for a DD is the smallest room in the house.  I might need to move DS in there and buy him a bunkbed.  Sigh...... 

I don't mean to say that it won't be wonderful. I know when they are older it will be great although I hope they don't gang up on me when they are teenagers!  It's just that I am scared of the next 2 years.  It is very overwhelming.  Not something to be taken on lightly. 

I had my first appointment with my Maternal/Fetal Specialist OB today.  Overall the appointment was a mess because 2 of their 3 doctors were out and 1 doc was left trying to deal with all the patients.  My appt. was a 1:30 and I finally left the office at 5:15!   In that time I had another u/s done, got a flu shot and had the nurse do the intake questionnaire.  I never even saw the doc. Ugh!  

BUT!!!!  The ultrasound tech did my scan from a different angle, through my tummy rather than with the vaginal wand.  From the top we could see the babies much better and they were both moving around.  Baby A, who had been measuring a week too small, measured perfect 9w1d. Just the same as Baby B.  So it was just the angle of the vaginal u/s not anything wrong with the baby all along.  Phew!  I am so excited and relieved. It's finally starting to seem real.  OMG!

Back from my scan.  I wish I had that IG Blackberry so I could post right away.  Today we saw 2 baby girls going strong. Here are the stats:

Baby A - Measures 16mm or 8w0d, heart rate is 170 bpm and we could see her moving!

Baby B - Measures 20mm or 9w0d (a full week bigger), heartrate is 178 bpm and we could see her moving too.

So Baby A is still measuring a week behind her sister.  But she does have fetal movement and a strong heartrate which is all good.   The fertility monitoring doctor told us to continue to be cautiously optimistic.  Grrrrrr...  I'd really like some assurances at this point!

I have my first appt. with my OB on Thursday.  I am going to a Maternal/Fetal Specialty clinic that handles high risk and multiple pregnancies.  I'm hoping they will do a high resolution scan and be able to tell us more.  I have sooooooooo many questions.

 Remember when we were all newbies here and we came in thinking since we were so fertile we would get pregnant the 1st try and have twins.  Ah how we laughed at our folishness when we discovered how challenging IVF can be.  Well ladies IT CAN HAPPEN!

My ultrasound at 6.5 weeks showed two baby girls.  Baby A is a little smaller than Baby B and they are a bit concerned about that.  But both had strong HB.  Here are the stats

Baby A - Heartrate was 115 bpm.  Measured 6w3d but the sack was only 11mm

Baby B - Heartrate was 135 bpm Measured 6w5d and the sack was 17mm

The doctor was cautiously optimistic about Baby A.  She said they like to see HB over 100 bpm but the small sack concerned her. She is my monitoring doc so I have yet to hear what Dr. Potter has to say.  She thinks I will be back at 9wks to check the babies again.

Now I am going to go back to COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT!

Okay gals here are my numbers 18dp5dt.

Beta 3869

Estradiol 1195

Progesterone 32.4

So I am a little nervous about that high beta number.  OMG could I be having twins??????  Also my nurse said I could combine my progesterone and estrogen shots.  I wish she'd told me that 2 weeks ago!!!  I have my ultrasound on the 29th and Dr. P may adjust my meds at that point but everything stays the same for now.

 Oh my goodness have I bought pink stuff.  I am hitting all the sale racks for summer stuff since this will be a June baby(s).  I probably have more than enough 3-6 month stuff already.  I've been assuming that one little girl would be big like my boys.  They were both 9 lbs at birth so I'm not even bothering much with newborn stuff but I could be wrong.  Especially if there are two!   My mom told me to stop shopping til she is better so she can come too.  The nursery is painted pink because I decorated it that way for our guest room.  No furniture other than our rocking chair that we've had forever and a regular double bed.  I'm gonna hold off on all that for a few months.....  maybe......


Someone asked if I was hoping for twins???  At the start of all this I would have said HELL NO!  In fact I was determined to do a SET.  But then when my cycle was sketchy and we thought we might not have anything to transfer, I became desperate for it to work.  DH and I talked long and hard about what twins would mean for us.  He was more for it than I was.  We have 2 boys who will be much older than this baby(s) so a twin sister would be great in the long run.  I am just terrified of the 3rd trimester and the first year.  I get pretty bad PPD and we will have to hire help so I don't lose my mind.  So the long answer to that question is sort of?  If it is one I will be HUGELY relieved but a little sad and wondering if we will try for 4 down the road.  And wondering if we'll do MS/IVF again or just natural.  If it's twins I will be freaking out but also glad to know we are sooooo done having babies and be able to relax and enjoy the ride.

We all kinda saw this coming but it's BFP!  I can't believe it.  My beta is 207, progesterone 30 and estrodiol 794.  Dr. P was very pleased with all of these numbers.  I go back for another beta next Friday, and my u/s in 2 weeks.  I'm getting close to Cloud 9.  I'm around Cloud 5-6.

My nurse said at 207 they couldn't say one or two but it is a very healthy number.  We are having dinner with some friends who have twin boys tomorrow night.  I think we are in for a dose of reality.

 My ultrasound is October 26th which feels like FOREVER!!!!! But I know it will be here quick.  Unfortunately DH is out of town that day.  Now the sentimental wife would put it off til Monday when he is back.  HA!  I just can't wait that long!

 RATS!  Foiled again.  U/S is now Monday 29th.  Orders came in saying it had to be the week of the 29th.  Oh well now DH can come and it's DS#2's birthday.   

I just got my email from HRC with our sort purity.  It was only 82%.  No wonder I never get pg with girls naturally.  Even with a fancy machine they could only sort 28% of the males out.  I'm glad we didn't go forward with IUI and I am amazed that with only 3 embies going to PGD, 2 were girls.  We got lucky!

I've been looking sideways at DH and snorting "82%" under my breath thinking it's all his fault we never had a girl naturally.

I'm not posting to the forums about this yet but I can see the faintest line on my HPT.  I'm taking them by flashlight since our power is out.  OMG could this be it? 

I have GREAT NEWS as well. I had 2 normal blasts to transfer. One "expanding blast" that Dr. P gave a B+ grade and one "early blast" that he graded B-. I was so overjoyed at this news that I burst into tears. Only 3 of my embies made it to PGD. The other one was missing an X and some other stuff. So we put the two in and now I am in bed. I did have my driver take me to Macy's before my appt. and I bought a foam pad and a down mattress topper. Now I am laying here like the princess & the pea with a big grin on my face. I am over the moon.

I still keep shaking my head in disbelief. I was prepared for a no transfer. When I got to HRC and they put a name bracelet on me my heart jumped. I wondered if they would have bothered if I had nothing to transfer. Then I waited 45 of the longest minutes. Dr. P had a fender bender on his way in. Of course! But thankfully he was fine. Once he finally got there he had to talk with the embryologist and I was trying so hard to listen through the wall. When he came in with the picture of the 2 embies I just couldn't believe it. And after all of my emotional wrangling over 1 or 2 there was no question I wanted both those girls tucked safe inside me.