Molly's MicroSort Journey

I decided to fly home Saturday night and excape back into my own element. It sure did help I felt a lot better being home with my family than alone in La La land. I am now trying to gather my thoughts to write a letter to dr. potter asking for answers and perhaps a credited cycle. The funny thing was that I did call day 3 to see how my embies were progressing and I spoke with his nurse (before pgd was done). She said she would call me back and let me know. Well, she never called me back. I ended up calling her back at 4pm that afternoon. And all she could tell me was that all 8 went went to pgd. I have no idea why they didnt see it as a priority to keep me informed at all times what was happeing with the embies. I had spoken to dr. potters other nurse on tues. (day after retrieval) about pgd. I told her that I was on the fence about it then. And she just couldnt believe that I wouldnt do pgd to to find out sex (they are total pgd pushers). She just couldnt seem to believe that I would only want to use ms. I had informed her that I did not want to do it if the number of embies left were not enough and if they were not good quality. I think they have some explaining to do.

I currently think I have the worst luck with ms right now. I still think I should voice my dissatisfaction with my cycle. Though, it probably won't go anywhere.

I don't really want to be writing this post... I went in for my transfer, early today. waited an hour to be put back in a room and then another 40 minutes for dr. potter to come in. While I was there they set  my room up for transfer, it gave me an good feeling that this was going to happen. Then dr. potter finally comes in to tell me about my embies. From the pgd report on the 8 embies, one had no signal, 4 were abnormal females, 3 were normal girls. Then he proceeds to tell me that my remaining 3 girls were not developed enough one was only 4 celled, the other two were five. They should be blasts by now and have a 100 or something. Then the worst part was the grades he gave them C,D, & F! I completly lost it and started bawling. I could barely catch my breath. He did not reccomend doing the transfer and then proceeded to tell me that they were slow looking on day 3.  I can't believe that they didnt tell me this?! I would not have done pgd if I had known this and would have done a day 3 transfer. I know they might not have made it then but I would have save the extra money on the pgd. I think I was crying for a good 40 minutes and wishing I had someone with me. Two different nurses came in trying to comfort me. I then went and  waited for a cab to go back to the hotel (which never showed) so I had to call another one. I do have one more cycle left payed for. I have to wait till october though. I will not be doing pgd again next time. Uhg. I'm done crying for now and have moved onto the mini bar in my room.

Good news all 8 are still here day three and went through pgd today. I won't know the results till saturday my transfer. I so hope I have something to transfer on that day. Will update more later.

My egg retrieval went well. 18 eggs were retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized. We are taking them to pgd and the transfer will be on Saturday. I was really affraid of having nothing left over but I was assured that would not happen. I hope they are right. I also opted for the two probe and not the five. I was told that the five probe have higher abnormal results then the two. So that is what I went with.

Please send me your positive thoughts that many embies will make it though pgd.

Now that I'm in southern ca...What the heck should I do with myself until Saturday?!

If you saw from my earlier post my frustration with the inlaws. It seems they are trying to buy our love now. Which I will except. They have given us use of their thousands of air miles to pay for airfare. No, they still don't want to have me in their house when they are there. But they will pay for the airfare. OK. I can deal with that. I just booked a 4 star hotel near Laguna for $60 a night on priceline. I highly reccomend anyone having to travel to their IVF/IUI use price line for hotel.

Tonight I'm taking the boys to my parents house and off to California tomorrow.  OMG!

Well, in the back of my head I am thinking what if I'm doing this wrong. What if the meds are not working. What if, What if! But low and behold things seem to be moving. 3rd monitoring showed lining 11? I can't remember exactly. Any way on with the eggs.
9 growing eggs on the left, 13 growing eggs on the right. The left showed some 11's, 10's, and smaller. The right showed some 10's, 8's, and smaller. I'm starting to feel sore and bloated. Which I think is good because of all of the eggs that I'm cooking.

OK, so I have been planning this IVF attempt for over a year now. We had already arranged to stay at the in-laws condo (dh's parent's place) in Pasadena. Well mother-in-law calls and says that we can't stay there while they are there. They need their privacy. What ever. It would only be three days that we would actually be at the condo while they were there. And it would only be me because dh is flying home after the retrieval. So now I think my in-laws hate me and I am sobbing for a good 15 minutes. I think it is the hormones as that is what I keep telling myself. So the new plan is for me to shuttle myself to a hotel for the 3 days they are in town. Is this as ridiculous as I think it is?! Oh, well we really are not that close anyway. I will still stay there when they are not in to save some hotel money. This will work out, this will work out. My mantra. Oh, I am still obsessing about if I should drive or fly too. This too will work out, this too will work out. More fertility drugs please ;)

 I had my second appt. today. They saw 9 follicles on each side(I guess one is hiding from the other day). 2 on each side are size 10. The rest are smaller. Lori called today and said to up the gonal-f to 225. Next monitoring appt. will be on thursday.

 Tonight I will add Menopur and Gonal-f to my drugged up tummy. I have reduced the lupron to 5 units this morning. I'm glad becuase I'm hoping the lupron side effects will lessen. But then there could be some new ones from the stims. who knows! This cycle seems to be flying by.

 Well I had my first monitoring this morning. The re said I had 9 resting follicles on the right and 10 on the left. The left side showed a small cyst. I can't remember the name of it but he said it is common and is one that shows right before your period then hopefully disolves. I hope this doesn't put a wrench in my cycle! I will be speaking to my nurse @ 4 pm to see what the blood work showed and what they say about that cyst. The re didn't really make a big deal about it. Perhaps because they are only monitoring me? Any body know anything about cysts? Hopefully I can go on as planned (supposed to start stims tomorrow). Or possibly they will have me on Lupron a few days longer before stims to see if it disolves. I will update when I know more after 4pm.

Well estrogen is 21 and the cyst I'm told is nothing to worry about. I can't believe my ms/ivf cycle day one starts tomorrow!!!

I feel like I am going crazy. And it wasnt until I read on the IVF board that this is a common side effect of lupron. I actually thought I was insane. Lupron has made me anxious, bitchy, bloated, having insomnia, oh and the crazy dreams.
Last night I watch this show called "Dr. 90210". It's a reality show following plastic surgeons. When I went to bed I dreamt one of those plastic surgeons was doing my egg retrieval. He said "don't you worry miss molly I'm going to give you a tight little tummy too!" I woke up with a smile on my face and a chuckle from my husband when I told him about my dream.

 OMG. Here we go. I started the Lupron, z-pack, and BA. The Lupron shots are nothing. It is a tiny amount of meds. And the needle is tiny! I will continue bcp until Friday.

 Today I ordered my meds from MDR for the big cycle. The total bill was $2057.68. Unfortunately my insurance does not cover any of this. But fortunately my girlfriends on the board donated some of their unused meds to me (gonal-f). We actually only ended up paying a little over $500. Things work out in mysterous ways.

 I will finally get to start my bcp's in three days! Yippee!

 Ok so I have also been reading into the whole accupunture being good for IVF. So what the heck I will throw that into my regimin too. My first time ever! It kind of hurts! I mean my chi hurts or something! Well if it helps I will do it. I have set up weekly appts.

I have also added massages every other week too. I do need to relax this stuff is stressing me out!