DH and I saw Away We Go and while it was wonderful I was constantly reminded that I SHOULD be pregnant right now, Due in Dec. I still feel as if I have had a miscarriage but I don't want to tell people b/c I never actually got a BFP BUT I did have a child conceived and she "faded away".
Since DH and I had dinner & a movie with sans kiddos (it was for our anniversay--we aren't cool enough to just do it for fun, usually!) we were able to talk a lot about all this "baby stuff". How scared we are, how miserable this process is, how lucky we are to have the 2 boys we have.
I told DH again, if I could do something to not want a girl anymore I would do it. It is just all taking a toll on me.
I'm getting more and more scared about the International Adoption. Nervous that we will get a child that will never bond with us and we will have a lifetime of struggles just b/c I wanted a girl!
We even talked about maybe doing another fresh cycle if this doesn't work. However, instead of constantly thinking of a back up plan I just want this to work.
I have ALMOST convienced DH to even think about putting in 3 since it is a frozen cycle. I am a little scared though, I know someone with triplets and I could never do that! The thought of twins still frightens me but I think the chance of having 3 is just SO slim that it isn't a big deal. I am still deciding though.
This waiting game is no fun!