The Plan: To Give Our Beautiful Son A Little Sister!!

Negative beta result. Sad and disappointing, I finally cried today. But its also releasing to know that this is over - we can move on now.

We're going to go natural for a while - I want a baby more than I want my girl. And if we dont get her this time, we'll be back doing high tech in a year or two..

So bye all - for now. Best of luck on your journeys...

5.5dp5dt, more BFN.

I am starting to accept that I'm not pregnant but it will take me a few more days to get over it.

I will then start talking to DH about what to do next - for now I just dont want to think or talk about it..

Peed 3 times today, tested every time. BFN. Not a hint of a line.

I might be being irrational but on some level I really believed I would get a BFP today..

Starting to really think I'm not pg after all..

Ok, the trigger is finally out of my system - on the 10th day after having the ovidrel. I had my last faint positive hpt at 4am and since then I've had 2 good negatives..

This means if I start to get positives in the next few days I can feel fairly certain they are REAL!! Still feeling really positive about our little girl joining our family..

Time will tell.. (and yes, I do say that every 5 seconds these days - its my mantra!!)

Well bed rest so far hasnt been too bad, we're on holidays in a hotel room so everything is close by anyway..

I've had some encouraging signs - some light cramping and lower back pain last night, and my uterus feels "sensitive" when I lie on my tummy like it did when I was pregnant with DS.

I had a faint but definitely there BFP this morning which is nice, and while I know its probably not even possible to get a positive this early, and its only the 9th day since my hcg shot so thats whats causing it, I still feel quietly confident that I am indeed pregnant..

Might be wishful thinking but thats ok!!

I guess time - and 20 more hpts over the next week - will tell!!

Update: After hours of googling I am even more convinced that this is too early to be a true positive, but my lower back is feeling a little achy on and off so I'm still feeling pretty positive..

2nd Update: Another hpt, another positive. I'm hoping I never get a negative but they just keep getting stronger!! Oh and my hubby and I both agree this afternoon's test line is slightly darker than this morning!!

Out of our 4 embies, 2 made it to day five, both were girls (thank you Microsort!)

Our third girl stopped growing at 7 cells, and the 4th was abnormal (no second sex chromosone was there, only one x)

It feels so wonderful to know there are two little baby girls in my belly. I know I may not get to keep them, but knowing there are there right now is just such a wonderful feeling.

I cant let myself believe that I will necessarily be having an embryo transfered to me tomorrow. I want to believe it but I need to protect myself and remember that nothing in the process is certain.

We will get a call in the morning with the PGD results, and then, If we have any embies surviving, we will go over and have the embryo transfer.

Nervous but not as much as I was before the Day 3 Report. I feel more acceptance.. what will be, will be!!

The report is in. All four embies made it through to Day 3!!

We have 2 x 8 cell embies, and 2 x 5 cell embies, all suitable for PGD biopsy.

So after many questions and discussions with our dr, we have been assured that the PGD itself does not harm the babies, and given that we still have 4 its best to take them to day 5 to see which have the best chance of making it.. so thats what we're doing.

ET is still scheduled for Wednesday and the waiting game wondering if our babies are ok continues...

In the meantime, we are off to Disneyland to try to distract ourselves!

I am too nervous to sleep, to think, to relax.

I am so scared that all our embies have died.. I am so desperate to put a baby in my belly and I'm scared there will be nothing tomorrow..

I hate not knowing how they are doing.

After several hours of research and discussion with my husband we have decided not to biopsy our embies for PGD.

There is too much at risk - a false positive or damage to an embryo.. and with only 4 successfully fertilized we dont have much room to move..

This does mean that there is a chance we will get pregnant with a boy and thats ok. We've upped our chances for a girl significantly and I'm happy with that.

Hopefully I can sleep now. I am praying for my embies to stay safe.

And going officially insane.

So worried about our little embies, so worried they are not even going to make it do day 3. So unsure of what to do or expect.

Out of my 15 eggs, only 4 were mature. :(

The dr thinks that my mistake with the Lupron (taking more than I should have for most of my cycle) maybe have affected the quality.

The only bright side is that all 4 were successfully fertilized so no we start the waiting game and pray that our embies survive...

If we only have 1 or 2 on Monday then we will most likely go ahead with the transfer then..

...on the edge of my seat for the dr to call with the fertilization report!!

I am not a patient person!!

I am over the moon!!

They harvested 15 eggs!!  I'll find out tomorrow how many were successfully fertilized, I'm hoping for 8-10...

Very easy procedure, I was sedated and had a lovely (and much needed) sleep. Small amount of crampy pain afterwards, so the nurse put some more drugs in my IV and a shot in my thigh which fixed me right up!

My nurse was Nachet, and Kelley came in too.. We had a friendly chat, we even talked about In Gender! lol

My husband gave his sperm sample to M/S and we hung around til they tested the sperm count, told us all was good and we were on our way!

I'm really tired now, but happy!! All is well...

I leave to drive up to Laguna Hills in 15 mins... Egg retrieval here we come! I feel fearful of something going wrong, and just fearful generally because it feels like a "big" day.

I am praying a lot and need to keep it up. Not just for a positive outcome but to guide me through the ups and downs that go along with this process..